Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Controversial Topic!

"It is far easier to train a child then to repair an adult."

So I am going to blog a bit on a controversial subject - spanking. Yeah, I said it. And I'll admit it, I spank. I do not beat, I do not hit and I'm not abusive in any way shape or form. I do my very best to never spank when I'm mad. I wait until I've cooled down then I get Gianna and we talk about it and then generally a spanking consists of a couple of pops on the butt. Not enough to hurt her but enough to get her attention and let her know I'm serious about her behaving. And I will also say that I never go to spanking right away - I give her a chance (usually two or three) to do as I ask before I result to spanking.

I know there are so many people who are against spanking, they say it promotes anger and abuse, that it wounds a child's soul, ya-da, ya-da, ya-da. And you know what? Most of the people who are against spanking were 1. probably abused as a child not spanked in a wholesome and loving environment. I was - I knew my parents never spanked me out of anger or hatred. They spanked me because I was disobedient and because they loved me and wanted me to obey because it was best for me. And that's exactly why I spank Gianna ( I know I'm saying "spank Gianna" a lot in this post but do realize this is pretty rare. Gianna is a good child for the most part and rarely does it come down to spanking. But I'm not against it!) or 2. they don't have children of their own and haven't had to experience dealing with disobedience or tantrums or meltdowns. and 3. most people who are against spanking and DO have kids have absolute little brats and hellions that they have to constantly worry about them screaming, yelling, throwing themselves on the floor, hitting and God only knows what else and most of the time in public.

I'll be honest, when I see a kid having a meltdown or throwing an absolute fit in public I don't feel sorry for the parent because they are the ones who, over time, have chosen to let behavior like that go on and now they have to pay for it. So I do not feel sorry for you. I don't believe that dealing with a child always results in spanking. For Gianna a stern word usually is enough to encourage her to obey and listen. I also have an obedient and well behaved child. Rarely does she have a real meltdown. Occasionally she doesn't get her way and she'll cry but I will speak to her quietly in her ear and explain "why" and then if she keeps it up we go to the bathroom and talk about it further......but she knows that I expect her to behave. Yes, there are times I know she tired or doesn't feel well and I do take that into consideration but whether she is tired or sick or not does not, nor will it ever, give her the right to act like a brat. No matter what they say people hate bratty kids - they may say one thing to your face but in their mind they are thinking "Gosh, what a brat! That parent ought to do something!"

And here is the deal - your child is NOT going to "grown out of it". I here people all the time who are dealing with bratty toddlers and they say "We hope this is just a stage." I laugh at people like that because um, no, it's not a stage. It's called being human and it needs to be dealt with. You know those super ugly teen agers? Yeah at some point they were bratty little kids who were never dealt with and never expected to act right. I refuse to have a child like that - I know that there are teen age attitudes that do just have to be dealt with but over all I rarely ever thought to smart off to my parents, or question their authority or reason - even though now as an adult I do not agree or plan to uphold all the rules and ideas my parents enforced I know they had everything set the way they did because they loved me and wanted to raise a respectful, obedient and responsible teen ager and adult. Which they did, I'm proud to say! I just hope that I can pass on some of that to my daughter.

So please don't complain about how awful your child is if don't have any plans to do something about it. Remember, you are the parent - you are in control of them and the situation if you choose to be. Letting them have freedoms and letting them "express themselves" is fine when it's done in a proper way - screaming at you, hitting you, kicking you, saying "I hate you" that is not expressing themselves, that is just being a brat! I love the quote I started this post with.....and it's so very true. When I see a truly well behaved, happy child I look at the parents with a lot more respect!

1 comment:

  1. I believe parents need to do what works for that individual child. Not all children respond to a spanking. ie: For Alyssa I find that taking away a stuffed animal does the trick real well. I think the key is that and being consistent. If those two things are mastered with your child(ren), then it will/can work!