Finding Inspiration.

"First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.” - Napoleon Hill

Sometimes I struggle with being inspired and motivated to do things. It's like I put all my will power and motivation into one thing - right now it's working out and eating right. And it's like I can't get motivated to put that same energy and consistency into anything else! Sad I know. I really wish I could get back in to writing music consistently and scrapbooking again - I'm just lazy when it comes to actually doing it. Not to mention keeping my house organized and clean. Especially my closets. They are terrible. Every few months I go in and clean them out, get rid of clothes and shoes I don't wear or want, and re-organize them. For a week or so I keep them that way and then I slowly lapse back into tossing my shoes onto the floor of my closet until they are just a huge pile or just shoving my clothes onto the shelves until they are a huge jumbled mess. My hubby is much more organized then I am, I don't mind "piles" of stuff here and there. Don't get me wrong, I hate it when the house is a mess but I don't mind small messes here and there! Gianna's room is the worst, I hate cleaning it because I know she'll just trash it again as soon as I leave. We still haven't bought her a dresser, we just have a small drawer organizer that I use to put her clothes in but she's starting to overflow those so I just put piles of clothes and shoes here and there. So today it's time to re-organize once again! I've got to clean out and clean up Gianna's room and then clean out my closets and re-organize them too. It's going to be a long day! Lol! I know Gianna will get new toys and clothes for her birthday in a week so I want to get rid of some of her older stuff to make room for the new. I need to get rid of some clothes of mine as well, stuff I don't like anymore and stuff that's too big......I got my size 4 jeans last night, they actually fit and I'm beyond proud of reaching my goal before Gianna's birthday. I doubt I'll ever be much smaller then a 4 but I do want to be more toned. My mid section is still not where I want it to be, it's going to be the hardest thing to get completely toned but I'm working on it!

Scrapbooking has totally been put on the back burner. I am so behind again. For awhile I got really motivated and got completely caught up and then all the holidays happened and I'm totally behind again. I think I have Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas to catch up on. I want to get them done before Gianna's birthday and Easter hit me. My picture quality from the holidays isn't great but it's all I have and I spent money on having them printed so I'm going to use them. You get the general idea! Lol! I'm hoping to get a "new" camera soon. Nothing super fancy but I bit nicer then the one I currently have. My mother in law doesn't like or use hers so she's offered to let me have it, I just keep forgetting to get it from her when I'm over there. I'll have to get it before we go to the next Mute Math concert though, I wanna get some good pics this time - we've been to see them three times and I don't have any good pictures from any of them!

And of course last but not least, I wish I could get back into writing music or at least lyrics and "poems" consistently. For awhile I had a book that I would jot down thoughts and ideas in and I was getting a good bit of them but when it came to actually developing them into full songs I was just stuck. I guess I'm going to have to start turning my ideas over to Beej and see if he can help me! I really would like to record at least one project in my lifetime. I've recorded a song here and a song there but never actually a full project or EP. I guess I still have time - I just don't want to be like 40 and still trying to write and record! Not that there is anything wrong with that it's just not what I want!

Oh and here is something totally off the subject but something I just need to vent about - I recently found out that one of my family members has decided to remain pretty "chummy" with someone who has repeatedly stabbed me in the back and been the worst kind of person to me. When I found on, kinda on accident, I was so ticked. I couldn't believe it. Not that they should be enemies but used to there was a certain amount of loyalty to your family over other people, or so I was taught. I know that this persons family has been pretty rude to me since all because they have her "back" or whatever. It just frustrates me that I don't get that same courtesy and loyalty from my own family member. I think this "member" has complimented this person more then they've ever complimented me or my own family members. Crazy, huh?! Yup, I agree. But hey, it'll backfire soon enough.....I've learned that when you don't get someone respect and encouragement then you don't get it back. This family member constantlys talks about no one respecting or loving them and I'm like you get what you dish out. Period.

So anyway, I'm trying to figure out how to get myself together and get more motivated and consistent in life. I can't seem to get it together in everything - it seems to be one thing at a time and maybe that's just how I am and I need to stop thinking I'm "wrong" because of it. Just because I do things differently then someone else doesn't mean my way is wrong and theirs is right - maybe there is more then just one way to go about things.