Friday, August 20, 2010

Death AFTER a funeral....

It is amazing the blackness that can come to light after someone's death. I've heard over and over people who's families are torn apart after a death because people get so caught up in material things. I have never worried about what I would get once my grandparents or parents passed away. That doesn't matter to me. My grandmother's recent passing has brought to light some thoughtlessness and selfishness that has truly amazed me. My grandmother left her jewelry to her granddaughters - that was sorted out weeks ago. She set up how we all could choose and it went well for the most part. There were a few pieces certain people wanted or hoped for but for the most part everyone was happy with what they got. But it seems to be getting a little out of hand now. It seems that people just take stuff or assume it should go to them and so on and so on. I've had a really hard time keeping my mouth shut about it. Not because I want anything, I honestly don't. I don't want anything but for those who do want things I feel their should be a better system. Some family members seem to think that they are owed more then others or that it's theirs for the taking. They get upset when others don't understand why they get what they get. And sometimes I feel like it's being rubbed in other family members faces when they take things that they know others would like to have but haven't had a chance to ask for. Yes, it's all quite a jumbled up mess. People who are getting what they want are quick to give the whole "it doesn't matter what material things we get...." speech while they are quickly snatching things left and right. They say it's all about family yet they haven't once stopped to think how they are making other people feel in the process. Even if it's rightly theirs there should be a little more humility in them over it all.

It seems that the ones who were involved the most in my grandmother's day to day life seem to think they have the right to whatever they want. It's true that we weren't nearly as involved one on one with my grandparents, it's hard to be when you live so far away or you are sick and unable to help but that doesn't give others the right to take over. I feel bad for some of my immediate family being stuck in the middle of dealing with it all. Being treated as though they aren't even's long, rough story and I'm angry with how it's all being handled. I'm tired of everyone siding with the wrong side and treating the rest of us, who have done nothing, like we're the bad guys. Life is so unfair it seems, all the time. I try my best not to dwell on it but it upsets me even more when it effects those around me that I love. It's hard to see them disappointed and hurt by people they love and trust or tried to trust. I'm tired of the childishness displayed by young adults and older adults alike. Tattling on each other like children and acting as though they deserve more then the other because of what they've done. There seems to be more "death" after the funeral then during it. And how sad is that, once again, people's self absorbedness tears them away from the people they should be trying to get closer to during this time.

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