Growing up we didn't have a lot, we didn't starve or go without by any means but my dad was in the ministry and my mom was a stay at home mom to FIVE kids! So needless to say we appreciated what we had and learned to be content with it. I was taught that if your bills were paid and there was food on the table and a roof over your head and a car that got you where you needed to go (even if it was a bit rag tag in appearance.) then you were blessed. And I guess that mentality has carried over a lot in my current place in life. Are there things I wish I had? Are there places I wish I had the money to go? Do I wish we didn't have to be so "tight" sometimes? Absolutely. But when I start feeling bad for myself or my family I take a moment to stop and think about all we DO have. And before long I realize just how good I have it! I look at my full fridge and cabinets, I look at my closet and my daughter's closet, I look outside and see two running vehicles, I watch my husband take a paycheck to the bank every week, I see the blessings people bestow on us whether it be time, money or groceries or whatever it may be and I know that my God is looking out for me.
I love the part of the scripture above that says we CONFIDENTLY say "The Lord is my Helper, I will not be afraid!" And how secure it makes me feel to say that and know without a shadow of a doubt that it's true. He loves me and wants only the best for me - and make sure we note that often times what we think is the best for us and what He knows is the best for us are two different things!
I think so many people think that being content where you are, even happy where you are means you don't want anything better for yourself but that's not true at all. You can be happy and content where you are and still work towards bigger and better things. A good attitude is only going to make getting there easier. I don't want to spend my whole life being miserable and trying to reach higher. I want to know that IF, and I say IF in a big way, things weren't to change and this was my life for the rest of it that I could find happiness and see all my many blessings right here.
The fact that we have been able to live on my husband's income so that I could stay home with our daughter has been a huge blessing! God has sent a lot of blessings our way to help us out. We have chosen to live a debt free life and that's not to put down those we are in debt, this is just what we feel is right for us. And it's not an easy feat but God has provided for our needs over and over. I look back and think about how we didn't pay a dime for my c-section when Gianna was born, or that I just happened to still be covered with my pregnancy insurance when I had to have gallbladder surgery and that was completely paid for, or that Gianna's medical bills we covered when she had all the issues with her kidney refluxes......and so on and so on. It makes me sad to think how ungrateful I have been in my heart sometimes.
Our life is far from perfect and I'm sure I'll have my days of grumbling but I hope that when I do I am quick to stop, repent and count my blessings because I'm in a far better position then a lot of other people. I'm living a good life - I have an amazing husband who works his butt off to take care of and provide for us, I have a beautiful, healthy daughter I have the privilege of being with everyday, I have a home, I have a vehicle to get around in, and more then anything we have a bright future because we're letting God lead the way and I know, with all my heart, that He will leads us in paths of fruitfulness and blessing. That in itself excites me and makes me feel secure.
I feel like lately I have been opening up my heart to truly hear the heart of my Father for me and I can honestly say it's overwhelming me. I grew up in a Christian home and I have been a Christian for a long time but I have been through dry seasons and doubtful seasons but I have held fast to my faith because I have seen over and over God provide and lead. But if you take the time to ask Him to speak to you He will! Not in an audible voice but in ways in your heart that you know aren't your thoughts. He is teaching me about faith, trust, vision, patience and joy. And I thank God daily that I'm allowed to freely live a life that honors and pleases Him!
When you step back and take a look at your life and all you have come through and all that you have you will know that you are indeed living the good life!
How precious is Your steadfast love, O God! The children of men take refuge and put their trust under the shadow of Your wings.
Psalm 36: 7
Psalm 36: 7