Monday, February 7, 2011

When your heart keeps silent.

Have you ever had a thought, a dream, an idea, or a vision that you just thought seemed so overwhelming, so big, SO impossible that there was just no point in even sharing it? That to even say it out loud would make you seem silly and ridiculous. I think perhaps I've had several of those kind of inspirations before, ones that I just wouldn't let myself believe might ever come true. I guess I'm a realist, in other words I have a hard time believing in dreams. It's not that I don't want to, I truly do but I can't seem to find the faith to believe in them. I often feel like less of a person because I so badly want to support others in their quests to reach their dreams, their visions, their inspirations. I don't want to be the pessimist, I've tried hard to start thinking in a more positive mindset. There are things I would love to accomplish, I've had to stop thinking "never" and try to start thinking "when". I'm not really brave enough to put up a list or talk about all the things I'd like to see happen in my life and to me and my family one day but I'm getting there. Slowly, but hopefully surely. I want to better myself and my future......for now my heart must keep silent. It must wait until the time is right. One thing I know is that my time frame and God's time frame are on completely different time zones! When I think they should be done or wish they would be done is never when He says. Because He knows me and He knows my strengths and my weaknesses, He knows what I need to go through before I'm ready to handle what He has entrusted me with. So for now I am silent but one day I hope to be shouting it from the rooftops, what I have accomplished or rather what He has accomplished through me.

Sometimes it is best to not announce all your plans, goals, dreams, desires and visions from the mountain top because the doubt and unbelief that is bound to come your way may stop you before you are even ready to go. Hold it close, keep it safe, nurture it, let it grow and when it's ready to blossom then let others see and hear - then you'll have a true story of faith and inspiration to tell!!!



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