Saturday, September 25, 2010

When Apologies are Rejected.....

It is never easy to say you are sorry - often is takes a good about of humility. It usually is a big hit to your pride when you have to admit you did something wrong or handled something the wrong way. But usually you at least have the hope and reassurance that your apology will be accepted. Occasionally though you have to deal with those people in life who are bitter and wrapped up in themselves and their own self pity so much that they can't even truly forgive you. No matter how much you apologize, humble yourself, do your very best to make things right they will forever hold your wrong doings over your head. Or they will drag out the "forgiving" process by saying things just take time to heal when they really have no intentions of ever forgiving or forgetting. It's sad but true. Truly forgiving someone is hard to do, it's almost as hard as asking for forgiveness. Our human nature wants to hold onto wrong doings and "sins against us". Our selfishness wants to wallow in self pity and snub our nose up at those people. But more than anything it's a hard pill to swallow when someone you love and care about reject your apologies and your heart felt love. They are too busy building walls around them to "protect" them that they can't see that not everyone is out to get them. I have been hurt but I have also hurt people in return - people I love and want nothing but the best for. Often though I think we react out of that hurt. When someone hurts us we feel the pain so deeply that we want them to feel the pain we feel. So we inflict on them things we know will tear them down and pull them apart. Not realizing that mending those torn ties will be much harder than we think. Your first reaction when someone rejects the apology you put out there is to harden your heart against that person - it's so very hard not to. But that doesn't help you or them. It's key that you keep your heart humble, don't start thinking to highly of yourself. Sometimes I think the other person is watching just to see how you react to their lack of forgiveness. That way if you jump back to being angry and hard they can point fingers and say they told you so, they knew you weren't sincere, etc. You yourself have to forgive them for their unforgiveness! If that makes any sense.....

"A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. " Prov. 15:1

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you." - Lewis Smedes

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