Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Being "better".

Being the better person is never fun, is it? Our flesh is quick to rise up and make us do things that aren't necessarily the right thing to do no matter how right it feels at the time. Our human nature makes us stamp our feet, pitch fits, say ugly things and generally act like a 3 year old not getting their way. I am pointing the finger at myself as well as others. I have often missed the mark on being the "better" person in a situation. There are times I just get tired of rising above the situation and doing the right thing. But I try because I know in the end it's the right, Godly thing to do and because I don't want to have a guilty conscience as to how I mistreated someone. But one thing I have noticed is that a lot of people claim to be being the better person when they really aren't at all. They think because they didn't react as badly as they wanted, because they didn't walk out at that moment or because they are staying inpsite of how "low" some people can be that it makes them better. One thing I've learned is that people can turn in an instant. I've experienced it on both sides - I've seen how quickly someone can suddenly "hate" me and how quickly I in turn can harden my heart against someone I previously respected and loved. It is our defense system kicking in but that doesn't make it right. I find it amusing how in one breath someone can praise their job, boss, situation, family, friends, etc. and then one little thing doesn't go their way and suddenly those people are so "below" them! They suddenly think they are so above everyone else because someone wronged them. Sometimes what we consider being wronged is simply us not getting our way - I see how people over and over manipulate people and situations and when someone finally stops being manipulated by them they are angry and accuse people of being two faced and liars, etc. It's funny how people think they are so "liked" by those around them and when it comes out that they aren't liked at all they can't believe it and don't know what's wrong with other people - when all along no one has respected them, everyone has side stepped them because they know what monsters they can be when they don't get their way.
I know that we all probably see ourselves in a better light then we should sometimes, I try so hard to deal honestly with myself. I try to buck up the courage to know when I'm just acting like a brat and when I have legitimate reason to be angry or upset. Just because I am corrected doesn't mean that the other people is wrong - maybe it's time to take a look at myself and see what others see. Because they can probably see it a lot more clearly then I can. People want to be able to gripe, moan, and be ugly publicly - they want to put down those around them in order to make themselves look better. It might work for a little while but in the end who they really are will come to light and they will be expose for the kind of people they are. Sometimes it take an eternity or so it feels for those who are doing right and in right standing. It's so hard for me to sit back and watch a situation where the wrong person is getting dealt harshly with. It angers me and makes me want to slap the people who are dealing with it wrongly but that never helps anything. I have to be patient and remember that in time evil always exposes itself unknowingly. I will never understand people who publicly speak out in anger about their employers, place of employment, co-workers, etc. Do they not know that at some point that gets back to those who's ears matter?! They say they don't care but when they are kicked out on their rears and handed their last paycheck then they scream about things being unfair and how low people can be, etc. All I can do is laugh! What did they expect really? That those they don't like would come crawling to them? No, it is never a good thing to deal harshly with those who help put food in your mouth, clothes on your back and a car seat under your butt. It never ends well, let me tell you! If you have a problem that can't be resolved move on but do it in a mannerly fashion so that you don't leave looking like the hind end of a donkey!
There is much power in the tongue - the Bible says life and death are in the power of the tongue - and how true that is. I've done my share of killing with it, I am sad to say. I am trying much more to speak positive, it's hard! Especially when "evil" people lurk on your doorstep constantly. I'm also trying to decipher when someone is truly a bad person or when I simply have a problem with them. If most people get a long with someone and I find I'm the only one with an issue with them then it's probably ME that really has the problem! That's a hard thing to admit but it's the truth. Sometimes I swing to far the other way with people I truly care about or what things to be right with - I think it's all my fault, that it's something I've done or said when it might actually not be me at all. I've been dealing lately with several people and issues that I'm trying to make sure I haven't caused the issue. Luckily I have a wonderful husband who will never lie to me - if he thinks it's me then he'll say so, if he doesn't he'll say that too! I am learning more and more that there is a time to speak up for yourself and there is a time not to. Speaking up too much can just make you a bigger fool then you already seemed to people. Sometimes true respect can be not making a bigger deal out of something then need be......don't use your kids, your spouse, your mom, your dad, your dog, etc. as an excuse to be harsh towards people. When really it's just another excuse to say what you want. If what is happening directly effects them then it's your right and duty to protect but in the safest and calmest way possible of dealing with the situation. It's never easy to TRULY be the better person especially when you feel you've been wronged or hurt but remember someone else in the situation may feel the same way! There is always two sides to every story.

"He who guards his lips, guards his life. But he who speaks rashly will come to ruin." Prov. 13:3

"The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust." - Josh Billings

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