I am overly harsh on myself, and I know that. I am always seeing the things I'm NOT doing versus the things I am doing and accomplishing every day. Sometimes I have to take a step back and remind myself that I do a lot, for the most part! Everytime I feel like I should be doing more work out wise I remind myself that just over a year ago I NEVER worked out - so going from that to working out 5-6 days a week is BIG step and one I should be proud of. Every time I fail to eat correctly I am reminded that at least I am conscience of it now and make efforts to get back to eating right, I feel guilty when I eat garbage and my body feels bad. But a year ago I ate whatever, whenever and wondered why I was so miserable. I have to remind myself that I have gained A LOT more discipline in the past year then I ever thought I would be able to obtain. I have started learning piano because deep inside there is music I want to share with other people - MY music. I don't want to cover someone elses music. I don't want to sing someone elses songs which is what I have done in the past with soundtracks at various churches. I will never understand new artists/bands that take the time to do a quality recording of someone elses song. What's the point? I mean, I guess if you advertise as a cover band that's cool but not as a fresh new band should a cover be the first thing you let people hear. But I've learned that Christians labeled "worship band" are a cover band usually. They do other peoples worship songs and that's about all you hear from them.....(oops, got a little sidetracked there! lol!)
I have to remind myself that I am working, slow but sure, towards my own EP and that excites me! There just doesn't seem to be enough time in the day to get everything done I want to. But I keep trying! When I have the finished product in my hand, all my own original songs, I will feel like a million bucks! I have two songs written, pretty much, they need a little tweaking and guidance but I'm excited to hear them produced well.
I have to remind myself that I am the mother to an amazing 3 year old! She is smart, happy, fun and a sweetheart! I can take her places and expect her to behave as well as a 3 yr old can! And that's because I have been a good mother - it sounds strange and almost prideful to say that. I am by no means perfect, far from it! But I do my best to teach her right from wrong.
The list could go on I guess but all I'm saying is, sometimes when you take a moment and list the things you do and accomplish every day they look a lot different then when you just stack them up next to the things you don't do! Take a moment today and remind yourself that you are awesome!!!
Moving on, I started the SlimFast diet plan yesterday. I was pretty sure it would be a miserable day to be honest! I've done SlimFast before and it's not bad just hard. I had a weekend of sugar "bingeing" down in Bama so I figured this week of "detox" would be rough. But surprisingly, yesterday went very well! The shakes aren't bad, the snack bars a tiny but yummy and with a piece of fruit they kept me full. Dinner was good but healthy - deer tenderloin, steamed broccoli and a tiny little bit of creamed corn (which I hate!). I am looking forward to today! It's actually kinda nice not to have to think, plan and make 5-6 small meals a day. Of course I won't do SlimFast forever, this is just to boost me back into a routine and back to losing some actual weight hopefully. We'll see how today goes....but I've learned with any diet plan or routine, keeping a positive outlook on it is the key! And I know, if you do something long enough when it comes to working out and eating right at some point you'll see results! I have a pair of Aeropastle size 1/2 jeans sitting in my drawer.....will I ever be that small? Who knows, but who says I can't work towards that goal?! I keep at it that's all I can say!!!