I see women all the time who walk around with boobs and butt hanging out and yet they get upset when they are treated with very little respect, especially from men. They act like they don't realize that's how they present themselves. There is a HUGE balancing act that goes on when it comes to dressing, how you act, the way you look, what you do, etc. And it's hard to find the balance - I don't think I have it down perfect at all but I do know that sometimes a situation may call for me to dress or present myself in a way that isn't necessarily "me" - I have to step out of my comfort zone so to speak and step up to the moment. I've worked many jobs where I was the first thing people saw when they walked into the business - working the front desk. I had to dress neatly and a little "dressier" then maybe what I prefer but it got me the respect I needed in the position I was in. The same when I have been on various praise/worship teams, or sang specials in church......I don't do so in a pair of old jeans and a baggy t-shirt and dirty tennis shoes - that's for washing the dog or cleaning the house! It gives you a careless appearance when you present yourself in that way. It makes it look like "I don't care, I don't know why I even bother...." and honestly, that gets you zero respect from me. Again, I'm not saying you should never wear jeans to church or work, I'm not saying there isn't a time for casual, I'm not saying you have to be in a dress and heels every day but I am saying that putting yourself together, being neat and clean and in some kind of order will get you much farther in a position that you desire or have earned then if you slop around.
No, it's not ALL about appearance but face it, that's what people see first, that's what most people base their first impression on - keep in neat, clean and in order!!!