Regret.

Regret:

1. A sense of loss and longing for someone or something gone. 2. A feeling of disappointment or distress about something that one wishes could be different.

“Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable.” - Sydney Smith

“Accept the pain, cherish the joys, resolve the regrets; then can come the best of benedictions - "If I had my life to live over again, I'd do it all the same”

No one wants to say they have regrets. It sounds ugly. Everyone wants to pretend that they've lived life exactly like they planned and wanted. But the truth is, not matter how big or small, we all have things wish we could change. Some things are minor and we only think of them when things get rough for the moment. Other things are big and they loom over our hearts and minds in cold ghostly shadows. Sometimes we are afraid we've messed up our own lives but I think most of all we worry that we've messed up others. Did the choices we make effect them in a negative way? Are they no longer in reach of their dreams because of what you did or said? Have you altered their lives in ways that can never be changed?

Regret is heavy and it's easier said then done to get over it, to get rid of it, to convince yourself you've made the right choice. To forgive yourself if you didn't. It's true, regret can haunt you if you let it. The biggest question I guess most of us would ask if how do you get rid of it? And how do you make sure you don't create more regrets in the future.

There is obviously a balance between living responsibly and living as though you don't have a care in the world. Somewhere there is a balance between them. Stepping out in faith but not being careless, thinking ahead but not over thinking, enjoying the moment but not burying you head in the sand to the fact that there is a future you have to plan for. How do you make sure you leap at the right time? How do you ensure there will be a net to catch you?

There are no guarantees in life. Sadly there is no promise that if you do something that feels or seems right that it will end up being right in the end. No one wants to do something scary and have it back fire in their face. But at the same time what if you miss out on an opportunity that could better your life, grant you more love, grant someone else love that they might not know other wise.

There are things I regret in life....I do my best to not dwell on them but lately these things seem to be creeping up more and more and I'm wondering honestly how to deal with them. How to resolve them in my heart.

I regret not pushing myself harder when it came to singing and performing when I was younger, when I had the opportunities and the time and the confidence to do it.

I regret not having a wedding when I got married. I spent my whole teen age years dreaming of my wedding and I gave that up in a split second. That big dream of mine. I do not regret getting married, not at all, but I regret that I didn't fight for the wedding I had always wanted.

I regret not taking advantage of my time "alone" my first year of marriage. My husband and I often worked opposite schedules our first year of marriage and I spent many hours at home doing nothing, waiting for him to come home. I wish I had taken pottery classes, taken dance lessons, gone to massage therapy school like I wanted, taken vocal lessons.

I regret not having a second child, a sibling for Gianna. It was overwhelming to have a child at such a young age and I was scared and figured I would never ever want to go through all that again. That I was barely capable of taking care of one much less two. But now that I'm older (and wiser) and I realize I am far more capable of being a mom and loving a child then I thought. I watch my daughter playing alone and I feel bad for her, I always had my sisters ( and brothers) to be with and I love them. We don't always see eye to eye, they drive me nuts but I love them and I can't imagine life without them. Do I want to be pregnant again, not really - it was the worst 9 months of my life but the result - a beautiful amazing child is worth it. Now I wonder if Gianna will regret never getting to experience sibling love and bonding. That she'll never know what it means to be a sister.......

I regret not standing up for myself more over the years with certain people, for letting them walk all over me because I was scared of hurting them. I'd rather be hurt then hurt someone else's feelings.

I regret not being a better friend, maybe if I had I would have more close, dear-to-my-heart friends.

I regret things I've said and done to those I love.....

I love that first quote up at the top of the post - things I did I can't honestly say I regret any of them. Were they the best choice? Maybe not but I still don't dwell on them much. It's the things I didn't do that stay with me. It's the wondering "what if" that can drive you nuts.

What are your regrets? How do you deal with them, how do you let them go?