Wednesday, August 3, 2011

The cure for resentment.

Definition : [n] a feeling of deep and bitter anger and ill-will...

A friend of mine/blog I follow put up a post today about feeling resentful toward things in life, people, etc.
I was going to comment on the post but I kinda had a lot of thoughts an ideas about the whole idea
since it's something I've dealt with and something I think all of us deal with.

The title of this post is a bit misleading because honestly I don't believe there is a true cure for
resentment. There are things we can do to obviously avoid it or steer ourselves out of it but at some point
our human nature will lead us towards being resentful.

I have struggled/struggle with this very thing. I feel like this year I've have taken big steps in being a much
more positive person and trying to see my way out of negative feelings but they still creep up.
I went through a really rough few months at the end of 2009 and the beginning of 2010.
Without going into too much detail I had a couple of girls I was really close with - I thought I had two wonderful
best friends. They both ended up deciding they'd rather not be friends with me and that's putting
it nicely! Lol! But I went through SO much resentment not just towards them but towards their
spouses, their families, the things they did or go to do......none of it seemed fair.

Being a young family we are still "up and coming" - we aren't rich but we do our best to handle our
finances wisely. Yet I see so many other couples and families our age that seem to be getting
new things all the time, traveling ALL the time, and constantly boasting about how perfect their lives,
spouses, kids, pets, etc. are. And I find myself starting to harbor resentment in my heart towards
these people because it doesn't seem "fair." I feel like we work so hard, try so hard and yet we don't
seem to be "rewarded" like these people seem to be.

For about a year I was miserable wallowing in my resentment and hatred towards these people.
Then I realize that they were ruining my life all because I was choosing to let them.

I know someone that has allowed resentment and bitterness to rule their entire life and I see how
miserable and angry and impossible they are. No one wants to be around them, even their own kids.
They are lonely and angry and blame everyone else for how crappy their life has turned out.
I keep this as a constant reminder of why I don't want to let this happen to myself.

It's not easy to let it takes actual strength it seems. But you have to take a deep breath,
and literally make yourself go through a mental check list of all the positive things in your life.
It makes me laugh when people say they are envious of me or jealous or whatever because I have
NO idea why they would be! But I also know I have so many things to grateful for and I have to
choose to focus on that instead of the negative things.

Because I don't want to end up a dried up, angry, bitter, hateful person later in life simply because
I wouldn't allow myself to let go of resentment and focus on the good in my life.
I still struggle with it....don't think I've got this down by any means.

It seems simple doesn't it? It's not as simple as it sounds but it can be done!


  1. you seem to really have it together! i'm impressed! i'm trying to work on this everyday, but it's so hard.

  2. Whoa. No way do I have it all together. I can honestly say I start feeling resentment at least once a day. It's making the effort to not allow it to grow. And like I said, I have someone right in front of me who reminds me constantly of how I don't want to be and how resentment can absolutely destroy you.