Sunday, January 31, 2010

In That Place....Again!

Once again I've found myself in "that" place. Ya know, the one where you really thought you had made the right decision - you believed that people would some how be different from who they were before?! Yeah, well, I do believe people can change but only if they understand they have faults and truly want to change. Most people live in their own little fantasy world of believing, somehow, that they are always right. And time and time again they wonder why they have no friends, no one they can truly count on. Have you ever stop to think maybe YOU are the problem and not everyone else?! Maybe YOU expect too much from people and can't accept that people are just human and will mess up. Thankfully we have a God who knows about true forgiveness, letting go and pretending it never happened. Not holding it against us to throw up in our faces when we mess up again. I laugh when people tell me they are a good person or that they try their best to be like God. I laugh because most of the time people who have to tell you are still trying to convince themselves. Sometimes I'll post things on my FB or here on my blog - ideas or questions I have. Sometimes it might be about someone I know but often more then not it's just an idea, something I'm wondering about, something I read that sparked a question or a situation I know someone else is in. I post these things and it's amazing how many people JUMP on them!!! This is my thing - if I post something like this for example - "I just don't understand why some people feel like they have to lie to make themselves look better...." And then someone will automatically jump on that and I'll get a message that says "Are you talking about me?" Why would any one assume that something negative like that is about them UNLESS they know they are like that!!!! So when people jump on everything I say I know that they are probably struggling with that issue in their lives. Basically, it's funny to see how quickly people will rat themselves out to you unintentionally! It amazes me how quickly people will turn on you - people who have claimed to be your friend, to love you to death, to enjoy being with you. And then when you do something that pisses them off - holy cow! Suddenly they've always hated everything about you, you've never been a good person, etc., etc. And don't get me wrong, when someone turns on my I suddenly see much clearer all the things that have bugged me about them all along, things that I overlooked at put up with because I loved them or cared about them. If Beej ever turned on me (which that would NEVER happen, just using it as an example) I would probably be able to pick out flaws and frustration much easier then I do now. Because I choose to over look them or forgive them when they do come up because the things I love about him over shadow those things.
I'm still learning how to be a good friend, I try hard but I do mess up, but sometimes it's the people you are trying to befriend that cause you to mess up! I can only be patient, understanding and hold my tongue for so long. After awhile you are just asking for it!!!
So here's to learning to be a friend, a true friend, a loyal friend. Someone that can be counted on, one that is willing to learn and grow with you, someone who is willing to forgive and overlook mistakes and work towards a happy medium. Someone who can enjoy the parts of you that are fun, caring and a plain good ole time!!!!

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