Friday, September 30, 2011


I'll admit it. Sometimes I can totally be a brat. I was pretty much a really big one to my hubby
today. He totally didn't deserve it and someone oughta kick me in the teeth for it.

It had to do with one of those little issues that has honestly been resolved and doesn't bother me most of the time. But today is came up and I don't know, I guess it caught me by surprise on a rather insecure day and I sorta lost my head. I said some really mean things and totally regret it now.
The whole situation is frustrating because I feel like he doesn't see my side and I think I misunderstand his. But instead of trying to talk it out like an adult and come to a compromise I just flipped my lid.
You guys totally don't have days like that right?!

It's funny because I often feel like as soon I start feeling pretty confident in life and how it's going something comes along and knocks me off my high horse and gives me a little shot of negative again.
This past week has been great - we're super excited about getting things in order to move next year, Gianna is loving school and dance, I feel like my little creative project (Pretty Nods) is off to a decent little start and I'm getting ready to open up my Etsy shop again, I actually lost a pound this week (lol!) yeah, I was feeling pretty good and then this.
No excuse I know but it caught me off guard and I didn't handle it well.

I put my poor hubby through the wringer sometimes with my emotional self.
Sometimes I wish I could be more logical and less emotional like guys. Or at least like my hubby but I seem to be a huge ball of emotions on a see-saw.
And why is it some days something sincerely doesn't bother you but then the next it's suddenly the most overwhelming, depressing thing you've ever had to figure out?!

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

Everyone has a past, we all have things we regret. Sometimes though, no matter how much you try to move on and forget, some people can't let it go and it makes it hard for others to.
I do hope one day the past simply doesn't matter to me anymore. That I can really separate the past from the present & the future.
I wish that I could be more understanding, more compassionate and realize that just because I "see" it one way doesn't mean that's how it is.
Too often my insecurities dictate my actions.

The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present

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