Years and years later we both grew up, both got married, both had kids....and the opportunity came around for us to be friends again. I mean, I figured she had grown up and grown out of feeling like she had to out do me all the time. But no, at the time we started hanging out again I had a very dear friend who in a matter of months she had manipulated and lied to until that girl didn't want to be my friend and she didn't want to be my friend and suddenly they were best friends. Really?! That didn't last long because that girl really had no interest in being friends with my best friend she just didn't want her to be friends with me. I know, it sounds so petty and cheap, right? But it happened.
During this time I announced I was going to start P90X....she ran out and bought it as soon as I put it up on my Facebook page. My sister and I showed her a tattoo idea we were thinking about getting together. A month or so later she had that exact tattoo. Yup. Exact. And this trend has continued even after we cut off our friendship yet again. We sorta agreed to be on "good terms" but not friends. So we kinda browse each other's blogs & Twitter's and such. But again several times I've said I wanted to do something, or get something, or go somewhere or like something and guess who's on top of doing it first. Whoa. This gets old. I feel like I've been thrown into some sort of competition with her that I don't want to be in. Constantly trying to do things I just genuinely want to do or like or try before she finds out and does them too. Not that we can't do some of the same things but I feel like she keeps an eye on every little detail on my FB, my Twitter, my blog. I'm scared to say anything less she pops up announcing she's doing it too. It really got to me the other day - it had already been a rough couple of days and something happened that just topped it all and I was just an emotional mess. Frustrated that she continues this game, frustrated that it still effects me, and frustrated that I had let myself hang on just enough to even know that she's still at this.
It's kinda like having an estranged sister. We were so close for so long that we were a lot like sisters in our early teen years and part of me does love her and I guess that's why the stupid, demented part of me has gone back for more of her manipulating, lying ways. But I decided for my own sanity I just needed to cut myself off completely this time. I've blocked everything I can. But unfortunately I can't block her from my blog - unless I make it private to everyone and of course I don't want to do that. So instead I'm just going to ignore that everything I put up here she's probably going to go out and do! I shouldn't worry about it, if her life is lacking so much that she needs to take on my desires, wants and hopes in life then so be it. Maybe one day she'll stop searching......
I'm sorry this has been a bit of a "rant" but sometimes it's best to just get things off your chest so that you feel better about them. What about you? Do you feel like you're ever in "competition" with someone? Or that someone has decided they are in competition with you? How do you handle it, what do you do? It's harder to deal with and ignore then you think!