Monday, May 31, 2010


I have been struggling lately with the realization that all things must change even though we may not want them to, even though we may fight hard for them to stay the same. I don't do well with change, at least at first. It's always difficult for me....I adjust of course, over time but it's a struggle at first. I don't like when we people change or leave or move on. Especially people I love and care about or enjoy being with. I know I've talked about it a lot but over the past 6 months or so I've "lost" two friends. One I was kinda prepared for because it hadn't worked for us to be friends before and I knew she hadn't changed so I expected it to end although it was still hard. The other one was a complete shock - she had been such a wonderful friend to me, our daughters played together, we shopped together, had girl's night out together, etc. She was sincere and honest, or so I thought. But in the end, I think she felt like she had lost control of our friendship and didn't want to be friends anymore. It was a hard time for me, but I have learned a lot through it. But one of my dearest friends has been my 17 year old sister. We've really gotten close over the past few years. She's funny, out going, sometimes loud, brutally honest and forthright, artistic and creative. Even though we butt heads occasionally we seem to get over it quickly and I love that. She hangs out with me, helps take care of Gianna, goes places with me, does nothing with me! She's my buddy and best friend, outside of my husband. Lately I have realized just how much she's growing up and changing, she recently got her license and wants to do all of the driving now. She's really good although she's nearly given me a heart attack a few times! We yell back and forth at each other over who's right when it comes to driving! Not to long ago she went to Nicaragua for 17 days and it was the longest two weeks of my life....not texting, no hanging out, nothing. She's already talking about going back again, which I know she loves so I have to encourage it but I hate to think about her being gone again. My aunt is expecting their third baby in September and she'll be out of work until January, after that they have asked D to come live with them for a month or two and take care of the baby at home while my aunt goes back to work. D is really excited about the opportunity and I'm happy for her but at the same time I dread it. I hate the thought of her being gone all that time. To be honest, I'll be a little lonely. Besides being my sister, she's my friend. She'll be all the way in AL - 6 hours away so I won't get to see her while she's gone. And then after that she's seriously talking about moving to Charlotte with a friend who is going to have a small apartment there. She'll be able to go to school for photography there. I know she really wants to get out of this county and I'm proud she's making steps to do that but my selfish side is bitterly disappointed.
My now 21 yr old sister and I were very close growing up - we did everything together and I thought we'd be best friends all our lives. No one could have told me that we'd live in the same town, less then 15 mins from each other and I'd barely see her every couple of months. I never would have guessed she'd choose the path she is on. We rarely speak and when we do it's awkward. We don't get a long all that well and we don't seem to have anything in common. She is the complete opposite of me in every way, shape and form. And now I'm so afraid this is going to happen between D and I - that she'll move away, we'll stop keeping in touch as much and then I'll have lost not only my best friend but yet another sister as well. It nearly had me in tears yesterday thinking about it. I dread the end of the year coming means things will change, end. And I don't like that. It overwhelms me and makes me feel lonely already.......


  1. Ah, Alaythea my heart is breaking for you and yet I know without a shadow of a doubt, that God will wrap HIS arms around you and get you through all things. Even change. Funny I have had many of things happen with friendships too and I have come out on the other side. You will too. Now in some cases I still have no clue what I was supposed to have learned but I am sure God has HIS reasons & I am positive HE has a plan. Jer 29:11

  2. I believe you and D have a very special friendship. It's a little more mature than you and Charitys was. Yes she will change, everyone does especially at her age; but I hope you can love the changes and allow your friendship to grow stronger over the distance. I know I have had to do that. Sarah is in a different state....and we are closer now than we ever have been. Just trust God to keep a connection between you two. I believe he will...and I think there will come a time when Charity will come back around and that friendship will blossom again too.