Feeling Defeated

I'm feeling a bit defeated these days. I kinda felt I was coming out of it after our vacation and all. I've really been kicking my butt back into gear with the whole eating right and working out. Trying to summon all my competitive nature (which I kinda have none of!) and work towards beating my hubby in this whole challenge thing. But it kinda started out a bit rough this week.....

We are dealing with some personal family issues right now, it in some ways affects me directly and not so directly. But needless to say, it has put a lot of stress on my mind and honestly, my heart as cheesy as that may sound. It's hard to find the balance really.

We are desperately trying to figure out what God's will for us is as far as location and our future and no answer seems to be coming. I feel like any time I pray it's not really praying but rather begging and pleading.

I have really been looking forward to Gianna going to school soon, mainly because I know she is so excited about it too! I have been waiting for the call to let me know that she's been excepted into the program. The program is offered by most of the elementary schools around here and it's called "More At Four" and it's a pre-school program but pretty much like regular school. 5 days a week, full day, and it's free! We applied and were told it was pretty much guaranteed she'd get in. But today I got a call and they've suddenly done away with the program and are offering a similar program but you have to pay monthly for you like you would a regular daycare or preschool. I am so frustrated.

It seems lately my heart and mind is in constant tug-a-war - wrestling around with thoughts, feelings, possibilities, impossibilities, future, etc.