Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Anger that wilts.
Have you ever seen someone who's entire life becomes wilted because of anger, bitterness and hurt they carry around on a daily basis? I have watched many such cases, usually I'm on the outside looking in so I have a different vantage point than those who are involved. And it amazes me over and over how both parties will blame the other for the fault when in all truth they are both acting the same way! It's just no one wants to admit they are the one at fault. They call each other names - "controlling", "bitter", "stuck up", etc. When they are acting the same way! I think it's the hardest to sit back and watch when both sides are people you care about. You want so badly to shake them and say, "Wake up! This is as much your fault as their's!" But does that ever work? Not usually. Instead those around them suffer daily because of their own stubborn, hard hearts. It puts those who do care for both sides in an awkward position - you can't invite them to the same things, or get together or talk about them without it turning into a big blow out or melt down. They think that "speaking their mind" or "telling it like it is." is the best way. And for the most part it is, but sometimes the truth has to be spoken not only in love but in a peaceful, tactful manner. Not an accusing manner. I know it's hard, I've been there, don't that, etc. It's hard especially when the opposing party won't see your side or accept that they have done things wrong. But sometimes it's not about making other see their mistakes, it's about owning up to yours and doing all you can to be peaceful. Don't compromise yourself, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying you have to find a way to forgive and move on even when someone else won't. It makes you the bigger person! Don't wait for someone else to make the first move or "forgive first" - by the time that happens that anger might have permanently wilted your life and happiness.