Saturday, November 12, 2011

Time to let go?

"To be successful, you must decide exactly what you want to accomplish, then resolve to pay the price to get it." - Bunker Hunt

"Act as if it were impossible to fail." - James K. Van Fleet

We all have things that we dream of having, or doing, or being. Some of those things are simple and perhaps "small" to others. Some of them are huge and seem to overwhelm you and any body else that happens to know about those dreams. I think the first thing we do when we have a really big "dream" or something that seems far out of our reach is to try to wish it away or, in my case, logically think it away! I'll be honest I don't like big overwhelming projects or dreams or goals. It's far easier to fail at those and I hate failing or feeling like a failure. That's why a lot of times I'm perfectly happy just staying where I am because I'm doing Ok where I'm at. Trying to accomplish dreams or goals or even reach for bigger and better things means stepping way out of my comfort zone.

But sometimes there are those things that no matter how much you reason inside yourself you can't make them go away. You try your best to makes the cons out weigh the pros but no matter how many cons you find the pros always seem better. You know it's going to be hard, it's going to be a tough journey but the destination, the prize, seems worth every bit of effort. And seeing the prize that awaits makes you want to start right away. You do have to make sure the timing is right, obviously if its not you won't probably won't get where you are going or it's going to be even harder then it's supposed to be. But sometimes the perfect timing doesn't always seem "perfect" in our natural mind's eye.

I think the hardest thing is when you feel so strongly about something or you desire it SO much yet you can't explain that to anyone else. No one else feels that same passion you feel or the strength of your desire and this can lead to feeling defeated and alone. There is so much happiness is this dream yet it almost becomes a source of sadness for you because whether we like it or not as humans we are meant to share. We want someone else to share in our joy, our pain, our up's, our down's, etc. We have the need for someone to feel what we feel. And that's why if we don't find that kindred spirit in one place we search until we do - we find someone who has obtained what we so badly desire and we watch them, we drink their words, we may even become happily "jealous" of that person because they have what we so strongly crave. It's not that we don't want them to have what they have, we just want it too!

My biggest struggle is deciding when I absolutely have to give up on something I desire. You hear "Never give up on your dreams!" all the time but is there a time to give them up? If so, how do you know? We so often say God's timing isn't our timing but then do we just wait our whole lives hoping that time comes or do we set time goal? It's so hard to know, right?! When do you take people's advice and walk away and focus your energy on something else? I struggle with waiting, I know that you can't just jump into things but at the same time do you just sit back and wait and hope it happens on it's on? This is why hopes & dreams frustrate me - there are too many variables, there are too many people you have to consider along the way, there is no super clear path. I end up feeling overwhelmed and frustrated and I give up and continue right where I am.

I grew up in a family where decisions were made by my parents, as they should be for the better part of growing up. But even as I got older I seem to always have to defer to them to make decisions, the decision I made was either "wrong" or not the right one for the situation or whatever. I never grew confident in my ability to make a decision and it be the right one. Even now I always feel like there is someone to point at my decision and make me question it. I simply defer to keep the peace. I'd rather not having something I desire then to have it and feel like I've made others unhappy or have other look down on me for making the "wrong" decisions.

So when do you let something go? Or do you just keeping holding on forever?

1 comment:

  1. i would say never give them up, because you never know when a new door in life might open up and lead you in that path.

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