Friday, June 12, 2009

The Call to be Skinny!

I've been hearing the call to be skinny for quite some time now!!! Some people hate this "call" and wish it would go away, they don't want to be like "every one else". But I want it, I want it bad, so bad - yet somehow I can't seem to channel that desire into actually making it happen. I see women I want to use as inspiration but they don't actually inspire me for long. I just dream and wish. I start a diet, do good for a week (two if I'm working really hard!), lose a few pounds, get excited about that and then go right back to what got me fat before.....dang me! I just don't know what it's going to take to get me back on track for good and where I want to be. I don't just want to lose a few pounds so I'll feel a little better. I want to get down to my "ideal" weight and maintain it, for good! I'm tired of my own excuses and I'm frustrated with my lack of motivation and diligence in the matter. I wish I had someone to help me and do it along side me but I have one of two problems - people who are already there or people who don't care to get there.....either way it doesn't help me any! But I wish I didn't need people's help or motivation to motivate me. What am I missing? I am unhappy with myself, I am unhappy when ever I get dressed each day, I'm unhappy when I see my reflection in the mirror, I am unhappy when I see old pictures of my cute, skinny self back when!!!! Ah, day I keep saying, one day....
Perhaps I'm feeling even worse then usual because of the nasty, greasy dinner I had....again my own fault, I ordered it. But now I feel heavy and bloated. And again, I'm going to be meeting alot of new people since Beej is working as a full time musician and I don't look my best. Does anyone have any motivational speeches they want to give me maybe?

Can anyone help me get motivated to reach my goal?

1 comment:

  1. I could have written this. I wish I could give you the answer but if I knew the answer I would be a size 6 right now! LOL