Here is my biggest struggle though - most of the people I know who are having kids are set financially and can afford another child. But I have several blogs I follow where there is constant complaints about barely making rent, not being able to pay certain bills, not sure how they'll make ends meet yet they are having more kids. These people would say they trust God to take care of their needs and I think He does for the most part. We are in no position to afford another child. We do ok on what my hubby makes but there isn't a lot of wiggle room. Having another child would be so wonderful but it's just wouldn't be wise on our part. I struggle with thinking are we just not trusting enough of God? Or are we being sensible and smart and they aren't? I don't want to judge them, I just wonder, ya know. I know it's different for everyone....some people are more willing to live on less or are ok with things being tight. I know that my hubby and I don't handle stress well and another child would just put even more stress on us. Yet sometimes my heart aches because I feel like our family isn't complete....and I know it probably never will be. And I have to learn to be ok with that.
Now isn't a good time anyway - we have so much up in the air about where we are moving and what we are going to do come summer. We really need me to be working so that we can afford to purchase a second vehicle and just afford living in general.
It's hard to be sensible and responsible all the time. Sometimes I wish I could just live a little more risky and just do things I want to do. But my mind shuts down my heart and lives in "reality." Plan and simple. Life doesn't always seem fair, not everyone seems "wise" but it's our job to live out our lives the best we can.