Torn.

Life hasn't quite gotten crazy yet but I know it's coming and I'm nervous. I don't handle stress really well and neither does my hubby so between the two of us stressful times are just not fun. But we get through them and that's the key. But it's just kinda unsettling when you know the "storm" is looming ahead. In the end, once it all dies down, it'll be worth every stressful moment.

But I do feel a bit torn.....and it's really silly but never the less my heart does feel torn. I'm excited about the changes ahead and there are going to be SO many. But the stupid part of me is scared of the change. Even though my life isn't "perfect" right now and I know this move is only going to better it I still freak out a bit. Right now I know what each day holds pretty much, I know our "schedule", I know Gi's school and the teachers and how things work there, I know my way around town, etc. But there are so many things about how things currently are that I don't like. And I know these things are going to change for the better soon.

There are things I dread like all the change of address stuff - you forget how many things you have your address on until you have to change it all! All the cutting off utilities at one place and getting them turned on in another....finding Gi a new pediatrician. Oy, vey. I dread that so much. We just found a pedi office we love and now I've got to start this all over again. *tears*. Gi is pretty nervous about her new HUGE school. And I can't blame her but I keep trying to tell her how fun it'll be and she'll make all new friends, etc. But I'm nervous about trying to get her enrolled late and finding my way around a new school and learning a whole new schedule. Oh, and did I mention I'm losing "my" car in a couple of weeks? Yeah, I've been borrowing my parents Explorer for a while now because we needed a second car now that Gi had started school. And it's gonna be gone with no second car lined up. I'm freaking out just a bit. Somehow in the next two months we've got to buy a home, move, find me a job that will work with my schedule, and buy a car. We're going to have a mortgage and a car payment - two things we've never had. I'm freaking out just a teeny tiny bit. I mean, people, I haven't worked a job outside my home since June 2006!!! SIX whole years, ya'll. Six. I'm not nervous about the actual work. I'm nervous about just trying to find someone to hire me because so far I haven't had very good luck.....and that scares me. And buying a car....oh, my. I'm not ready to be a grown up! Lol!

But I know in the end, by the time the Holidays roll around, we'll be settled in a new routine and I won't remember all this intimidation I'm feeling right now. At least I hope so! Lol!

I know there are great things ahead - the other part of me is extremely excited! I'm excited to actually have my own home, one that is more "us" and not someone else's style or taste, I'm excited to discover more of what Asheville has to offer. It's going to be amazing being so close to restaurants, malls, festivals, downtown, etc. We live 45-55 minutes from the nearest anything and suddenly that's going to be like 15 minutes away! What?!

So yeah, my heart feels torn.....as I walked Gi into school this morning I felt a little sad. I can't believe that her first year of school is almost over. Everyone has been so great, and her teachers have been wonderful and she's made friends and it's going to be a bit sad to leave that behind. But we can't hold on to things forever. We have to move on and experience even greater things and I have to keep reminding my heart of that.