Let me explain a little first - I grew up in a home where alcohol was consider bad. Period. No questions. You didn't touch alcohol. It was the same as drugs. You also have to understand I grew up next door (practically) to a home for men with drug and alcohol problems. This is all I knew of alcohol - I knew that it messed up lives in a serious way, it destroyed families, ruined marriages and left men in a heaping mess. To my little mind it was pure poison.
Once I grew up some I still couldn't see alcohol as anything else. I didn't understand the pull or fascination it had to people. Couldn't they see what it would do to them in the end? I didn't have a lot or really an experience with people around me drinking until I went to Cosmetology school. I never went out with any one to drink or party, ever. But I'd watch all these grown women with boyfriends, husbands and kids come dragging in on Tuesday mornings (that was our Monday!) hung over and ill because they had been drinking all weekend. Again, it puzzled me.
After we moved I found out that my parents had started having an occasional glass of wine. I was shocked! To me this was almost the same as hearing they had started smoking pot occasionally! Yeah, it seems silly to me now but at the time I didn't know what to think. My father had to explain to me his reasoning behind it - for him and my mother is mainly medicinal. Red wine is good for your heart, IN MODERATION! Heart problems run in both sides of my family and so through a friend of theirs who is into natural health they had started doing this. He also explained to me that the Bible never prohibits drinking alcohol, obviously they drank wine in Bible times but what it does prohibit is getting DRUNK. Full blown, out of your mind, can't remember what you did - drunk. Over and over I see "friends" of mine post pictures of them drunk, falling off the toilet, hurting themselves because they can't stand up straight or walk, etc. And I don't understand why this is something to be proud of. I've since changed my outlook on alcohol but not on drinking. To me drinking is drinking enough and with the intent of getting drunk. Having a drink is something totally different. I've occasionally ordered a drink, not often though, I don't think it's worth the money! But we do have a couple of alcoholic drinks in our fridge right now, I won't lie. We don't abstain completely from alcohol but we never have had more then one drink at any given time. We don't want to push limits to see when we get tipsy or close to drunk or how many we can handle before we are close.
But someone said the other day to me that people who drink or who go out to drink are usually looking for something to fill a void. Even if they don't realize it - they may go because they think it's "fun" or "cool" but any reason probably has a hidden meaning behind it - they want to be excepted, they want to feel loved, or the certain of attention or a common bond between someone. They need the attention and the temporary bond they feel with other drinkers. Or they are so miserable in their own day to day lives that they live the whole week looking forward to getting plastered so that they can forget who they are and what they are. They announce it like it's really a proud feat - "Getting DRUNK this weekend!" or "I'm so drunk I can't even walk straight! Hehe!" It doesn't make me laugh or even smile, it makes me feel sorry for them. It makes me wish there was some way I could show them that what they are missing a relationship, a TRUE relationship with God. The void they are trying to fill - all the voids - can be filled by one thing and one thing alone. But most of these people know that - they've had it before but they've allowed issues, circumstances and unforeseen catastrophe's destroy their trust in Him and they've turned to drowning their sorrows instead. And it saddens me deeply. I wish they could see how lonely, empty and foolish they look from this side.....
Don't take this as I'm judging, I'm not. I now we all have things we turn to for comfort - things other then God. I'm still learning daily to do that but I still don't know that my relationship with God has ever lacked to the point that I just wanted to forget everything. And I hope it never, ever gets there. If anything seeing situations like this reminds me to cling even tighter to God, knowing that my life isn't worth living without Him to lead and guide and fill it.
Well, as you know, I'm an Atheist, so the whole comparison to needing a God escapes me. But with that aside ~ I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteI drink. But with that said, I might have 10 mixed drinks a year and never more than 2 at a time. At 3 drinks I feel clammy the next day, and I hate that. I have been drunk once at 21 and I felt SO BAD the next day I didn't understand why anyone in their right mind would ever want to feel that way again!
Sadly I know way too many people who think it makes them cool, or fit in, or think they need it. These are the people with big issues, things missing in their lives, are damaged or broken people, or just completely misguided. Same goes with drugs. When you see an alcoholic or a drug addict, Why on earth would someone look at them and say, 'That's it! That's the life I want!' It's beyond reason.
With alcohol and anything else (eating, shopping, etc.)~ Moderation is the key. It is fine to enjoy, but once it starts controlling your life it is time to stop indulging. If you can't drink in moderation then you should make the choice not to drink.
And on a side note, I know you are going to Savannah this weekend and they have a signature drink there you can't get anywhere else called the Savannah Slide. It is delicious! Cheap, and doesn't have a very high alcohol content. (I don't like drinks that are too strong.) If you get the chance, give it a try. I had one while we were down there, and by the end of the week I had had 3 they were so good. (1, 3 different nights)
*Oh, and this blog hit me kind of close to home. My ex-husband has a drinking problem and it completely takes over his life. He knows he has a problem and will put it down from time to time. He starts being a better father and excelling at work. Then he will start drinking again, and everything in his life falls apart. Coleman gets to the point that he doesn't even want anything to do with him. It's really sad, because without drinking he has the potential to really be someone. But sadly he just can't let it go.
ReplyDeleteCandy, I didn't know you were an atheist and I'm very sorry to hear that...Jesus has been the center of my life through good times and He's brought me out of the bad times. I can't imagine living this life without having the security and peace of knowing there is a higher power that is not only looking out for me but has taken on all my cares, sins and problems to come. I think it takes a lot more "faith" to be an atheist and believe in nothing then it takes to believe that Jesus Christ exists, lives and died and rose again for our salvation and eternal life!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, over and over I've seen drugs and alcohol tear people's lives apart. But everything thinks they are going to be the one person is doesn't effect like "that". And each of them is proven wrong time and time again. It is hard because each of us probably has our own "drug" of choice - it's just the world views it's differently because the outward effects aren't as noticeable at first.
I agree with this in part, but I drink and I do get drunk every now and then. I guess how drinking is approached has alot to do with how you are raised. My family & extended family drank and usually it was a social thing. Thanksgiving for example, in the evening when the kids were playing the adults would drink wine till they were drunk and I never saw that as a bad thing to do. However, I never drink alone and I never drink when I'm upset because I don't ever want to use alcohol as a coping tool. I've seen a lot of people turn into alcoholics because they allowed themselves to drink during a crisis. Suddenly they find themselves unable to deal with any type of stress without drinking. I do agree that some people do drink when there is a void in their life but not everyone. I dont have a void in my life, and I don't drink to drown out anything...I just grew up with drinking being just part of social events and so have alot of the people I know. So I don't disagree with you because I do think that what you said does apply to many people but certainly not everyone. I'm in no way feeling judged or feeling like I need to explain myself; I just wanted to express my opinion. I guess drinking to get drunk is kinda like cussing to me, I know it's biblically wrong but sometimes I do it anyways.
ReplyDeleteNot that I would EVER try to tell anyone else how to believe ~ but growing up in religion and it never really adding up in my own mind as reality ~ once I let go of it all and accepted for myself that none of it was true ~ that in itself brought my life great peace and security. I then knew it was all in my hands to create the life I wanted for myself. And so I did. I know that isn't the answer for everyone. I know some people 'need' religion. I know some people need to feel like there is something bigger than themselves calling all the shots.
ReplyDeleteBut for me, letting go of everything I was force fed as a child brought me new peace. Especially when I stopped and looked at the fact that the greatest evil in human kind comes in the name of religion, it really confuses me as to why people go down that path with blind faith. I don't get it. But there again, I'm not everyone and it takes all kinds.
But this blog wasn't meant to be about all this. So bottom line ~ social drinking fine ~ abusive drinking bad. lol