Random Thoughts

I was recently on my "personal networking" page and was scrolling through updates and status posts from various "friends" and people that I keep up with and I found a post from someone commenting on what a good time they had out with "friends" that day. That "friend" had commented back on what a wonderful time they had too and they should do it more often, etc. etc. Most of the time I wouldn't have though twice about this post but what cracked me up ( I literally laughed out loud when I read it!) was that this person who was commenting on what a wonderful time they had was just telling me less then two weeks ago how much that other person got on her nerves and was so "goody goody" and way too spiritual for her and absolutely no fun! And that the other person's child was whiny and that her child never had any fun with them! Less then two weeks later I guess she's completely changed her mind ( of course it is possible that person lied to me too. Seems to be a habit....) - probably because once you've pushed everyone away you start clinging to anyone who will pretend to have a good time with you. Because whether people want to admit it or not your spouse and child are not the ONLY things you need in life. They make up a huge part of it for sure and whether you spouse is your best friend or not you still need other people to talk to. If you push away people who try to be there for you in the end you will end up alone and lonely. Being a friend takes effort - but if it's the right amount of effort then it will be rewarded in the end by someone else being a loyal and trustworthy friend to you. So many people get caught up in things being 50/50 or the whole give-and-take idea. They keep a mental check list of what they do for you versus what you do for them. If you keep tabs like that most likely you will always see it coming out in your favor. And then you become selfish and say you are getting anything out of the relationship. I used to have that mentality towards my marriage. I was constantly keeping tabs on what Beej did for me or didn't do. Or how he treated me or what he said to me, etc. Never once thinking to keep tabs on how I was being! And it was causing some serious issues in our marriage. I think when we both realized what was happening and truly committed to changing things we started seeing our marriage blossom! We both started trying to focus more on what we could do for the other person, thinking more about how the other person would feel, etc. In the end, we both got more of what we wanted in the first place - more respect, more love, more attention and more time! Our marriage isn't perfect but Beej and I are very happy together. We still get in arguments sometimes, we still get frustrated with each other but we've learned to handle them so differently then we used to! And that makes for a much happier us, a much happier Gianna and an overall happier household!