Bloggin'

1. High heels or boots? Boots.

2. What time did you get up this morning? 7:10am (I usually sleep no later then 7:30am!)
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Dear John - so good and so crappy at the same time! Lol!
4. What is your name? Alaythea Marie Carroll
5. What is your favorite TV show? Fringe
6. What do you usually have for breakfast? Bran flakes, skim milk, honey, 1/2 banana, sliced almonds. Always.
7. What is your middle name? Marie
8. What food do you dislike? Asparagus, mayo, crab, onions
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Day and Age by The Killers and Armistice by Mute Math
10. What characteristic do you despise? Lying
11. Favorite Clothing? Jeans, ballet flats and cardigans
12. Anywhere in the world on vacation? England
13. Are you an organized person? No, not really. I don't like super messy but I'm not overly organized at all!
14. Where would you retire to? Somewhere overseas.
15 What was your most recent memorable birthday? This past one was pretty good...
16. What are you going to do when you finish this? Nothing. Maybe make some dinner, read a little more of my book, lay around and finish watching Harry Potter 2.
17. What is your Birthstone? Peridot, I hate it!
18. Person you expect to publish this first? Clarissa
19. When is your birthday? August 23
20. Are you a morning person or a night person? morning person for sure! I'm no good after like 10pm!
21. What is your shoe size? Anywhere from a child's 4 to an adult 6 1/2!
22. Do you own any animals? A Persian cat name Gandalf
23. Any news you'd like to share? We are going to Alabama in April to see Mute Math for the 4th time in concert!!!! Woohoo!!!
24. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A singer/entertainer.
25. What is your favorite flower? Lilly's and roses.
26. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? March 19th, 20th and 21st - WeeRuns, New Moon on DVD, Gianna's birthday party, and Gianna's actual birth date!
27. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Red.
28. How is the weather right now? Bright and sunshiny!
29. Last person you spoke to on the phone? My mom
30. Favorite drink? Water and grape juice!
31. Favorite restaurant? Outback and Carrabba's!
32. Hair color? Dark, almost black, brown!
33. What was your favorite toy as a child? My bike
34. Summer or winter? Fall for sure, but I'll go with winter if it's short! lol!
35. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate.
36. Coffee or tea? Tea
37. Wish you were still young? I guess I am still young but I wish I FELT young still!
38. Do you want your friends to publish this? Sure!
39. When was the last time you cried? Friday, Gianna was so miserable I just cried.
40. What is under your bed? Some shoes and the bag my comforter goes in.
41 . What did you do last night? Hung out with my hubby and baby, watched part of a movie, some TV and Facebooked.
42. What are you afraid of? Being alone, getting old, birds and the dark.
43. Salty or sweet? Sweet!
44. Best quality you have? I guess I'm honest and loyal - or at least I try to be with all my heart.
45. How many years at your current job? I'm a stay at home mom and I've been at it for 3 years!
46. Favorite day of the week? Fridays
48. What four people will you tag? I probably will tag Clarissa Gordon, DeeAnna Pounders, Crystal Millwood and Rebecca Abel.

My baby, my day and other stuff!

Gianna is doing better. We went to the dr. again on Saturday morning and he gave her a prescription for an antibiotic. Did give her any more shots, thank goodness. She was a crying mess while we were there. She hates that place so much. I tried to explain to her that we only go to make her better but after they stabbed her in each leg the day before I don't think she was listening or cared! Her legs are still sore from those shots, she even has a little bruise over the injection site of one of them. She seems scared to use the potty now too - I'm not sure why but she'll hold it and hold it forever and when I make her go she just cries and cries. I asked her if it hurts and she says no. So I don't know what the deal is. But theres no more fever, thank God. And she's eating again and I'm so happy about that! And we actually got a full nights sleep last night and that made me one happy girl! She'll be on antibiotics for 10 days, after that they'll do another urine test to make sure it's cleared up and then we'll schedule x-rays and a dye test. The x-rays will look at her kidneys to make sure they aren't enlarged or misshaped. The dye test is going to be really hard for me - they will have to cath her and then insert dye. They will look to see how the dye flows - if it flows back up it's VUR or urine reflux. The dr. says he doubts that's what it is but he wants to make sure since she's had two infections so close together now. I know it's going to scare her to bad and her crying just breaks my heart. I'll probably be crying too but I want her to be well and I don't want to go through this again, nor do I want HER to go through this again and so whatever measures we have to take to find out what's causing this we'll do. I'm pretty scared though to be honest. I'm scared of hospitals, needles and dr.'s but I know how to brave it and understand it better then a little 3 year old can. She doesn't understand why it hurts or that it's going to help her in the end. She just knows the pain of the moment and how scary it all is (just talking about it puts a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes....) My poor sweet baby.......

On a lighter note though I did get to go out with my bestie yesterday! We had such a great time.....Did a little shopping for Gianna. Got a her a little dress and some leggings to go with it, a little pair of red "flats" and a striped shirt. When I got home and showed her she asked me where her toy was! Lol! That child! We had bought her new playdough and a doodle bug pad for drawing earlier that day. I love buying things for her - I love seeing her get excited and enjoying playing with what we get her or how cute she is dressed up in what I buy for her. We went to Target and Old Navy. They have the cutest kids clothes! Then we hit up PF Changs for lunch. So yummy! Went and saw Dear John - I won't ruin it for those of you who haven't seen it but I was bummed with the ending. Not the ending I expected but still a bummer. The first half of the movie was great - if I watch it again I'll just watch the first half! Lol! It was romantic and sweet and Channing Tatum was smokin' so that made it worth it I guess!!! I just hate Nicholas Sparks and how he writes all these achingly romantic stories but always has to break his readers heart in the end. He sucks!

We slept "in" today! Lol! Gianna and I were up by 7:15am and Beej followed not too long afterwards. I worked out, I skipped yesterday, just didn't have time with everything going on but I won't ever skip and not make it up another time if I can. We went to lunch at Red Lobster. I had grilled shrimp, rice and broccoli. So good but it was hard saying no to the cheddar biscuits! They are yummy when they are warm. *sigh* But I splurged yesterday with a spring roll and extra peanut butter last night! Lol! Don't laugh, that's a splurge for me. We've just been on the go so much lately it's been hard for me to prepare all my meals like I should. Plus when I'm worried and stressed (like I have been about Gianna the past week) I get the "munchies" and want to eat all the time. It's been quite a struggle not to fall back into stress eating. But I did pretty well - over ate a couple of days but only on "good" food so I guess it wasn't that bad!

Gianna's birthday is just 22 days away!!! I'm so excited! I've really got to kick it into gear and get things planned out and on the roll. We are doing good food again this year and I've got the cake picked out too - we are going a cupcake cake this year. Plus I'm going to make some sugar free cupcakes for me, mom and dad since we aren't supposed to have sugar. I'm hoping to find a good recipe that's sugar free and uses whole wheat flour. Good luck to me! Haha! I've got send out invitations in the next day or two too. So much to do! I'm excited about DeeAnna bringing her camera and taking the pictures this year - I know we'll have some great ones! I'm going to get the stuff to make Gianna's tutu for her birthday soon. I think I'm going to make a black and hot pink tutu that she can wear with her pink "chucks" and find her a cute shirt to wear too! I think this may be the last year I can dress her up kinda whimsical and get away with it! I'm thinking by her 4th birthday she'll probably be picking out her outfit! I can't believe I'm going to be the mom of a 3 year old! It kinda makes me feel old! Lol! I can't believe I'll be 24 this year - man, oh, man!

So right now I'm reading Forever Odd by Dean Koontz, it's the second in the Odd Thomas series. I've read the first one, Odd Thomas and now I'm reading the second! I love his books and this series has been really good so far. We have the second Harry Potter movie right now too. I'm kinda behind the times with those but my hubby bought the first book at a thrift store recently and I read it and really liked it and it kinda inspired me to start renting the movies - so far they've been really cute! And right now I'm listening to The Killers 'Day and Age' again - I'm kinda on a Killer's kick right now. And I'm also liking Ingrid Michaelson and Timbaland's new one right now too (I know those three artists are all on completely different musical pages but that's how I like it!). I rock to the Killers, mellow out to Ingrid and dance to Timbaland!!!

Better.

I took Gianna to the doctor this morning. She was throwing up last night again and she was running a temp. of 104 last night. Scared me to death really. We ended up crashing on the couch last night but didn't get much sleep again. I think I need a nap today!

She was running a fever of 104.4 at the dr.'s office and she was just absolutely miserable. They checked a urine sample and took blood. The dr. told me that her white blood count was really high like he had expected and her urine was really "dirty". He said she has a severe bladder AND kidney infection. He said he can't say exactly why this is happening but they'll explore that later once she's starting to feel better. They gave her a two shots of an IV antibiotic that is supposed to kick in and start making her feel better. She seems to be feeling a lot better already - she actually ate some applesauce so that's good. She's so weak from not eating. She has gone from weighing almost 30lbs before Christmas down to just over 25lbs. now. I keep pumping her full of fluids as much as I can. I went and bought some Pedilyte today hoping that will help her too.

We go back to the dr. in the morning and he'll check her temp. again - he was concerned at how high her fevers were. I'm supposed to keep a eye on it too and make sure it doesn't get too high again. And they'll decide then what kind of antibiotic to start her on. And then we'll go from there about following up and figuring out what is causing this. Someone recently mentioned to me about a bladder reflux issues - where the bladder actually kicks urine back into the kidneys. I'm going to start researching and trying to find some info on it. Because something isn't right and I don't think it's an external source either. It's some internal.

I included a couple of pictures my sis took of her yesterday while we were at the house - you'd never know she was running a fever and hurting when these were taken. I thought they were so cute! But you can see how heavy her eyes look though....I'm so glad she's starting to feel better already. It's so nice to hear her laugh! Hoping for some good sleep tonight too......

Tomorrow is my girl's day out! If we can get Gianna taken care of in the morning I'll be heading out for some "therapy" with my girl afterwards!!!! Yay!!!

As the day closes....

It's been such a long day.....which started with a really long night. Usually when Gianna is sick I'll sleep down stairs on the couch with her so that Beej can get some real sleep. Me getting up and down with her wakes him up and he ends up being really tired going to work the next day. I know for me that if I really need to I can nap the next day where he can't so I always try to be conscience of that when Gianna isn't well. She seemed to have perked up some yesterday but had a lapse last night and was up and down every hour. Just as I would settle in and start to fall asleep she'd wake up again and need to go potty or need a drink. Then she started throwing up again and later ended up wetting her covers. So we both finally fell asleep around 5am and slept in until almost 9:30am which is so not me! I'm usually up by 7 and working out by 9am! And then I decided to go out to my parents and help them out - I've been promising to and it kept getting pushed back but I figured Gianna could sleep on their couch and watch their TV as well as she could ours. She had a fever after lunch and spent the day crying off and on about her tummy hurting. She's also dealing with a nasty sore in her mouth from where she bit it and then keeps re biting it. Bless her heart. She's so pitiful and I just feel awful for her. She keeps saying she has to pee but when she tries she can't go. So I'm thinking her UTI is back. My aunt, who is a registered pediatric nurse practitioner, said that if it is the UTI that's back I need to get her in to see a pediatric urologist and try to figure out what's going on. Because it may be something internal and not an outside source causing them.

I'm also going to have to start supplementing her diet with something like Pedisure or something. She just doesn't eat enough to keep her immune system up, and when she does eat it's not super healthy. Lately about all she'll eat when she is hungry is banana's and waffles! I want her to be healthy but right now getting her to eat veggies is almost impossible. Tonight at dinner all she wanted was a hamburger patty, no potatoes or veggies. She hasn't hardly eaten all day so I was fine with that but still, I think she's going to have to have something to keep her body up better. I just want her well and I feel like she hasn't been truly well since before Christmas and that's just tearing me up. I just want to know what's wrong and what we can do to make her better.

I just feel I'm running ragged at the moment. I've kept up with my work outs but today I am several hundred calories short what I need to be eating at this point. It's hard for me to eat all the good calories I'm supposed to. At this point if I can get 1500-1700 in I feel pretty good.

My goals tomorrow are to just get Gianna to the dr. and find out, hopefully, what's going on. And then get her to eat, get my work out in and send Beej off to work. Then I'm just going to crash. I just need to totally relax tomorrow night. Saturday is going to be a great day for me to just re-coop mentally. Looking forward to some good girl time - got a baby sitter lined up for Gianna so that Beej can have some time to himself at home too. He's working on his new music project and doesn't have a lot of time to devote to it with his new work schedule.

I'm WAY behind on my scrap booking.....I have Halloween and on to catch up with. Easter is almost here and there will be more pictures to scrap book. I don't want to get behind now. I want to keep memories in a more traditional manner versus everything being on my computer. Especially since I've had some issue with my computer lately. It made me realize that at any time I could lose my pictures and I want to keep them "safe". Plus I just feel like it makes such a statement to take the time to do actually scrap book them. It's kinda like writing someone an actual letter instead of sending an email. It's still a great gesture but means even more when you take the time to write it by hand!

Well, that's it for tonight. My brain is so fried I can't even think straight. I'll probably go back and re read this tomorrow and wonder what in the world I was rambling on and on about!

Black Bean Soup Recipe

I thought I would share my black bean soup recipe. It's so simple, quick, filling and very low calorie! I whipped it up in less then 5 minutes, and it took about 10 minutes to heat it throughly. And it tasted so yummy! Perfect for today. And something a little new for me......

Black Bean Soup

2- 15 ounce cans of black beans

2 cups of low sodium chicken broth

1 cup of salsa (Med or hot if you want a little kick!)

1 Tsp. paprika

In a blender lightly puree' 1 can of black beans, the chicken broth and the salsa. Pour into a soup pot and add the other can of black beans. Heat for about 10 minutes on medium heat until hot!

Garnish with about a tablespoon of sour cream and salt and pepper to taste!

1 1/2 cups has 165 calories. (Extra calories for sour cream).

I served mine with a half of sandwich.

1 slice whole wheat bread (lightly toasted)

Mustard

Thin sliced turkey

A couple of thin slices of avocado

Oh, so yummy!!!!

Randomocity.

Some random thoughts - just stuff going through my head that I thought I would just get out!

My 1st random thought is this - why is it so many people preach moving forward and forgetting the past yet they hold on to the past so tight they could get past it if they tried? They move on yet still hold on to things that happened to them and can't let them go. Then they wonder why the same things keep happening to them over and over. I admit that I've held on to things sometimes but for the most part I never try to stick people into a mold of failure and imperfection. If I carry around a "mold" of the people who have failed me in the past and I continue to shove everyone into that "mold" things are bound to never change or get better for me.....

2nd random thought - I hate throw up! I hate hearing people throw up, I hate seeing it and I hate cleaning it up. Even when it's my own child I still have such a hard time! And today Gianna has "graced" me with her and then my cat has decided to contribute his as well. Ugh, it's nasty day. I need a serious shower and a serious airing out of this house. I'm about to go upstairs and open Gianna's windows and spray everything down with Lysol!

3rd random thought - I just finished a really good book by Dennis Lahane. It was called Shutter Island. It's the book that the new DeCaprio movie is based on. I wasn't interested in seeing it because it looked like a horror film and I'm not into that at all. Suspense, yes, but horror and gore, no. But after reading the book I'm a little more interested in seeing it. It has such a twist in it! I won't tell you what it is in case you still want to see it. I hate when someone ruins the end of a movie for me before I ever see it! But if you like suspense and drama it might actually be pretty good - IF they stuck to the real story line.

4th random thought - I recently watched the WORST movie ever! Lol! I got it on recommendation from some people I knew and was really excited to see it but it ended up being a complete flop and failure! The Covenant! If you haven't seen it don't bother! Lame story line, cheap acting and a bunch of stuck up kids! The ending sucked as well!

5th random thought - I am now only 8 pounds away from my goal weight. Well, my original goal weight and I'll be thrilled to get to it! But I have set a new goal for myself and it's five more pounds after I hit my goal weight so I guess technically I have a totally of 13lbs to go but for now I'm sticking with just getting to my first goal weight. I've learned that you have to set yourself one main goal but then smaller goals along the way because if you just keep looking at that big goal it will become way to overwhelming and that's why a lot of people give up. I don't weigh much, I normally just watch my inches but occasionally when I'm out at my parents they have a accurate scale and I'll weigh. So since starting Insanity 37 days ago I have lost 7lbs and 6 inches overall!!! It's made all the sacrifices when it comes to eating so worth it and it gives me motivation to keep doing my work outs!

6th random thought - I love oranges!!! Lol! I could eat oranges all day long, no joke. I liked oranges before but ever since I was preggo with Gianna I could eat them every day! I must be lacking when it comes to Vitamin C or something!

7th random thought - I'm so excited about summer! I'm so ready for a tan!!! Hoping my parents get their pool fixed before summer because I know Gianna will have a blast playing in the pool. She enjoyed it last year but was still a little scared to venture out on her own but I think this year she'll totally go for it! I love soaking up the sunshine! Excited about summer clothes, especially for Gianna. All the little shorts, tank tops, sun dresses and cute shoes!!!! WeeRuns is coming up soon and thanks to my best bud I get to go to the "pre-sale" they do for people who are selling clothing. We love going together, it's fun having girls close to the same age and size because we can talk and compare while we shop!

8th Random thought - Looking forward to a little time for myself this week. Tonight I'm going to my mother's Mary Kay party....it's always nice to get out, see people and have a little pampering time. I've got to order new mascara and lip gloss. I love make up! Even if you only wear a little it's totally worth the time - the way it makes you feel and look! I don't understand people who don't wear make up or say they don't have time for it. I do ALL of my make up (which is fairly extensive!) in less then 10 minutes every day. I love playing around with make up and seeing how I can change my look with it!

Also looking forward to going out with my bestie on Saturday! Hitting up a cool, hip Chinese place that I've been raving to her about! I think she'll love it! Then a good girly flick - we are thinking Dear John. And maybe hitting up a couple of stores! I am SO excited, it's been forever since we've been out together and she is so much fun! I always come back feeling refreshed after hanging out with her!

So those are the random things going through my head today! Making some black bean soup for lunch with turkey and avocado sandwiches. If it turns out yummy, like I think it will, I'll share the recipe later. It's very simple, quick and low calorie!

Sick again.

Gianna is sick again. I am so overwhelmed by it all. It seems this is happening so much lately. If she's not sick in one way she's sick in another. She's run fevers off and on for over a month now. Usually a little Tylenol will knock it out and she's good to go but it still doesn't seem normal to me. I keep taking her to the dr. and they find some common reason (cold, bladder infection, stomach bug, etc.) I took her off of milk recently and that seems to have fixed the continual belly aches. But last night when we were out to dinner she kept saying she had to go to the potty and seemed to have diarrea again but she ended up eating her dinner of eggs and bacon so I thought she was fine. Last night she went to bed with a slight fever, woke up in the middle of the night with a raging one and had wet the bed so I had to clean all that up and get her some Tylenol. She woke up this morning with another fever and has now proceeded to throw up three times. All my blankets, pillows and sheets are in various piles through the house waiting their turn to be washed. After this is all over I've got to completely air out my house, it seems to be holding onto sickness lately. I feel so awful for her, I know she feels terrible and I can't seem to fix it, no one can. I'm hoping this is just a 12 hr. bug that will move on soon and she'll be back to normal. I know this weather doesn't help anything. If she isn't better tomorrow I'm taking her to the dr. to make sure she doesn't have an ear infection. She keeps telling me her cheek hurts. I just want her to be strong and healthy again. I feel like lately she's on the verge of being sick again all the time. She's always been a little more prone to catching stuff, I think her immune system is a little weak. But lately it just seems a lot more then normal. I wish I had a different dr. to take her to because the ones at our pedi.'s just seem to brush me off. Slap some quick diagnoses on it and don't take a look at the big picture.....I'm not sure what to do anymore. I just know it kills me to see her feels so awful yet again.

Thoughts.

I am often overwhelmed by this intense urge to be something, to be something better then I am now. But more often then not I don't know how to even start. It seems like an overwhelming task. I've recently been under going a physical transformation but I'm also going through a mental one too. I'm learning that I am stronger then I thought I was, I have more stamina then I ever imagined and I have more will power then I could have dreamed! I'm learning that I can set my mind to something and accomplish it. If someone had told me 6 months ago that I would be able to stick to a strict diet for over 5 weeks and not cheat one time I would have laughed! I didn't think it was possible for me to do that - but then I learned I can say no. It's still so hard for me, I have a lot of bad habits stored in my natural reflex and it finds me starting to put things in my mouth I shouldn't. But less and less. I'm changing those bad habits into good ones! I know, it may sound a bit like bragging, and maybe I am, but it's hard not to when I've accomplished more then I ever thought I could for myself. Now I've got to learn to take that same determination and will power and put it into other things. Mainly music - I so badly want to get back to writing and then recording at some point. I love music, I love to sing. But I haven't done it in so long and the task of writing songs seems so hard. I feel like I get tongue tied when I try to write lyrics and the melodies just seem old and dry. I just keep hoping for something to kick me into gear and I'll just start! Lol! I know it doesn't happen that way, it's a process, a sometimes long one. I also have been considering going back to school. The very thought makes me want to laugh out loud to be honest. It's a great idea but it doesn't seem like reality to me. I know lots of mom's and dad's go to school every day. Just because I have a child doesn't mean I can pursue a career at some point. I'm just not exactly sure what I want to pursue. I have about 3 ideas and options - just trying to decide which is going to be the best for me in the end.....so many things I want to do but I feel overwhelmed trying to figure out how to accomplish them.

Another Monday.....

To be honest I am totally dragging this morning already. I turned off my alarm clock when it went off and overslept by 40 minutes! So that started my morning off wrong already. I have a ton of stuff to get done today and oversleeping by that much isn't helping me at all. Luckily, I got all of my unpacking and catch up laundry done last night so I didn't have to face that on top of everything else today. Not to mention, it's raining. I hate rain, especially when I have to get out in it and do stuff - getting Gianna in and out and all that is not an easy task. Especially since she seems to have a mind of her own lately and never hurries when I tell her to.....so to say the least, I'm slightly grumpy this morning! Hoping a good, hard workout and a nice hot shower will help me.

We had so much fun this weekend - the drive was completely worth it to see Mute Math. They stunned us again as always! We are planning to drive to AL to see them in April too! I'm beyond stoked! This concert had to be the loudest concert I've ever been to though - my ears we completely muffled and ringing until the evening of the following day! Now that's rockin'!!! We didn't hang around after because we weren't sure with the kind of venue that it was if the guys were going to come out or not, and if they did it would most likely be a couple of hours til they did so we decided to head on home. I was exhausted from getting up at 6:15am that morning, working out, packing and then driving 5 hours. We figured we would try and plan to meet them again after the next concert we go too. My brother in law and niece LOVED it! Said it was the best concert they've ever been too so we were pretty pleased that we had introduced them to MM. It was probably the most fun concert I've been to so far because I decided ahead of time that I didn't care what people thought about me I was going to jam, dance, and sing as much as I wanted to and I totally did and had a complete blast! It did help that the girl two rows in front of me was doing tribal dances and crap, I looked totally tame next to her!

Getting ready to start month 2 of Insanity. Last week was my recovery week - you do four weeks and then a 5th recovery week. The work out is slightly less intense and a little slower, a lot more control and balance work where your other work outs are more about cardio. I did pretty good with my eating over the weekend, didn't really have anything I should have - I ate a lot of protein bars though because it just didn't work out for me to cook a lot like I do here. But I figured protein bars were better then splurging! Excited to see my results from my second month of Insanity, I've heard they totally step it up a notch. That kinda scares me but the first month did too and I made it through that with flying colors! I can't wait to see how much more toned I can get before summer!!!! Already planning a second round of INsanity because it absolutely rocks!!!

Hopefully planning a girl's night out with my bestie this week! We both need it terribly! And it's been so long since we had a girl's night out. We deserve it for sure, her even more then me now that she has two! Whew! I think we may grab some dinner out and see a good chick flick - we both love going to the movies and don't get to go often enough. I want to see Valentine's Day I think. I want to read Dear John before I watch the movie......I recently finished reading Shutter Island because I wanted to read the book before I saw the movie and wow! What a twist! Don't tell me how it goes in the movie, I know they change it up sometimes but the book was kinda predictable and then all of a sudden BAM! They totally got you!!! It was crazy! I really want to see the movie now.....

Anyway....an old friend of mine is in town for a visit this week. I'm hoping we are able to get together at least for just a little bit. Maybe do lunch or something. Who knows. We both stay so busy sometimes it's hard to find even a small amount of time to hang out. But I do think it's important to keep up our friendship, even if we have gone in different directions in life - she's still be a good friend and I've never had reason to distrust her. And in a world full of reasons to distrust people it's nice to be able to trust without fear!

Happiness is.....

Happiness is......a road trip with my babes!

Happiness is.....watching my daughter accomplish new things.

Happiness is.....making up with my hubby after an argument.

Happiness is.....finding comfort in being home.

Happiness is......a new tattoo!!

Happiness is......going to THE greatest concert ever with the greatest man ever!!!!

Happiness is......working out, and loving every minute of it.

Happiness is.....discovering a new favorite song.

Happiness is......hearing my baby say I Love You!

Happiness is.....a long walk.

Happiness is......shoes!

Happiness is......having faith and trust in my Lord.

Happiness is.....family (sometimes!).

Happiness is......having a bestie.

Happiness is.......scrapbooking photos of the ones I love and the events that are dear to me.

Happiness is....snuggling up with a great book and getting lost in it.

Happiness is......a really sweet movie.

Happiness is.....planning for the future.

Happiness is.....setting goals and watching yourself reach them!

Happiness is.....seeing joy in my baby's eyes.

Happiness is....hearing my husband tell me how proud he is of me!

Happiness is......knowing you are being the best you that you can be.

Happiness is....the joy of new life!

Happiness is......looking at my life and knowing I've got the best there is!!!!

By Faith....

I got inked again tonight! I love the adrenaline rush that comes with it! It's so exciting! I love getting tattooed here in Savannah, Ga. I guess because I got my first here so there is something more exciting about having it done here. I went to shop I'd never been to, my old tat artist isn't at the shop I went to the first time anymore. I was kinda sad about that but the guy I went to tonight was really good, kinda quiet and a slow worker but he did a good job. I'd rather him be slow and do a good job then go to fast and mess it up!

So my tattoo is of a closed eye......it has multiple meanings. I guess the first being that "we walk by faith, not by sight." So many times in my life, for some many different reasons, I've had to simply trust God to take care of me, to take care of my needs (and even wants sometime) and He has never failed me! He is faithful and my faith in Him has never wavered. Even through my up's and down's I've never blamed God, He is my source of strength and provision. But I don't always "see" the path He has for me - so I have to close my eyes and trust Him to lead the way!

The second meaning is to remind me not to always base things on what I see around me....often our circumstances or the images we see around us cause us to take a step back and not do things we often should step out in faith and do. This tattoo is to remind me to close my eyes and take a leap of faith sometimes.

Lactose Intolerant....

We have recently been going through some issue with Gianna and her tummy. I think I've mentioned it a couple of time on here through some other posts. I thought that maybe it was her UTI coming back but we had her checked at the doctor again and they said she was all clear of that but they couldn't tell me why her tummy would be hurting her every day. They said it was probably gas and not to worry about it. But it bothered me that daily my child would tell me two or three times a day that her tummy was hurting, and it didn't seem to be fake. I know when Gianna fakes it and when she's being sincere and this was sincere pain. So my mother suggested that possibly Gianna had become, at least slightly, lactose intolerant. I know my dad struggles with regular milk some so my family a while back switched to non-pasteurized milk and rice milk. So I did a little research on the issue and found out that a lot of children become lactose intolerant after the age of two. This can be hereditary or it can actually be caused by some damage done to the intestines - which I wonder if that may have happened during her UTI because it went undiagnosed for so long and perhaps some of the infection spread to the intestines. Because this all started AFTER that bought with the UTI. So for the past two days I haven't given Gianna any milk and she's had very limited cheese and guess what? No complaints about her tummy hurting! I'm so glad! If avoiding milk does it for her then we'll avoid! I'm going to start her on rice milk when we get home. I've always liked it and it's good for you. I can get it in several flavors too. I've heard that soy milk isn't good because it has a lot of estrogen in it and can cause early feminine issues and I want to avoid that at all costs! Plus I think it's fairly high in sugar and we want to avoid that too!!! Hopefully this is the answer to our problem!

Mute Math

Man, they are so awesome!!! Even their sense of fashion is right on!!!
(Um, yeah, he does this at every show.....it's so awesome!!!)

I can not begin to tell you how excited I am about seeing Mute Math tomorrow night! They are mine and Beej's favorite band and they are pretty much the greatest musicians ever! Lol! Not to mention just a great group of guys....we got to meet them at the last concert we went to and it absolutely was the greatest thing. They are so down to earth and nice. Not to mention I just love their music....Paul Meany (the lead singer) has an incredible voice, no one can copy it and I've never heard a decent Mute Math cover because no one can sing their songs like Paul can. It gives me chills listening to it especially live. Not to mention they have one of the greatest drummers ever.....and congrats to him on being engaged to another incredible musician and singer, Stacey Dupree from the band Eisley. Their kids are bound to be musical geniuses! Lol! I'm borrowing my mother in laws camera because mine takes super crappy pictures. I wish my sister was going so she could take her amazing camera and get some great shots for me but this will have to do for now! I don't know who is opening for them but hopefully they will be good, the last time we saw them in Charlotte their opening band was great - a band called As Tall As Lions. Awesome stuff! Their bass player was cute! Lol! The first time we saw them in Greenville though their opening band was awful! I think enough people complained about it that they've put a little more effort into making sure they have good opening acts. I can't wait til we can take Gianna to a Mute Math concert, she would LOVE it! All the lights and the music....she loves Mute Math and would get a kick out it I think! Hopefully I won't be too tired because I've got to get up early and work out, finish packing and then drive 5 1/2 hours to Savannah and then go to a late concert. Whew! But it'll be totally worth it...we have assigned seats at this concert so we don't have to try and stand in line to get a good one like we did last time. We are on Darren (the drummers) side this time and I know Beej is super pumped about that, Darren is practically his hero!

Good times for sure!!!!

Drained.

Today I am absolutely drained. I have been going way too much the past week or so. I haven't stopped to breathe I feel like. I've been helping my mom drive my sister back and forth to Driver's Ed. plus helping her with various other projects, trying to keep the house in decent order, driving here there and everywhere, working out and attempting to eat right on the go - so that means packing food before I leave the house. Just one extra thing to add to my list. Not to mention Gianna has become an emotional basket case lately and it's absolutely draining me. She cries about everything, she doesn't really pitch fits, just falls into weeping over everything and nothing at all. She complains about her tummy hurting at least two or three times a day. She hardly eats. Today , since waking up at 7am, she has eaten half a banana and a piece of string cheese. I bought her lunch and she wouldn't touch it. It's now four o'clock in the afternoon and she still refuses to eat anything. I'm at my wits end, her eating habits have always been kinda random but this has been the worst it's ever been and I'm becoming concerned that there are some serious issues going on with her stomach. She can't tell me exactly how it hurts or how bad, just that it hurts. And it doesn't seem to be a casual, passing remark. She pushes on her tummy and groans and says it hurts. We've had her checked again for UTI or kidney infections and there's nothing there. Perhaps I'm over reacting or worrying too much but something doesn't seem right. I don't know who or what to turn to exactly. The doctors do "overall" kind of exams and just pass it off for gas or something. And maybe that's what it is but why does it plague her every day?

She seems to have the potty training thing down well now - thank God! It's taken us almost a year to get this down completely. She has made it 3 full days and nights (including nap time) without wetting the bed or having any accidents. It's so nice! I was afraid we might never get here! Every other transition has come so quickly and easily - she walked at 11 mons., the bottle was gone by 12 mons., her paci was gone by 2, she moved into a toddler bed with no issues....so I guess was thinking she would just get potty training in a few days. Whew, I was so wrong! Lol! Anytime I hear that someone is potty training now my UTMOST sympathy goes out to them. It's a nightmare - and although I get countless hours of joy out of Gianna I'm afraid that any time I've thought about having another child (which is super rare) I always think about having to be up at night again and having to potty train again and I am convinced I could never ever do it!

Pulled a muscle in my calf working out yesterday and it is crazy sore today. It keeps seizing up and getting tight and I have to work it out again. I guess I just landed wrong during jumps yesterday or something. This is my recovery week but surprisingly the work outs are just as tough just in a slightly different way! At this moment I feel like I could lay down and sleep til morning and never budge!

Tomorrow is another day, hopefully I'll be energized and ready to go! Besides working out I'm going to Asheville with my mother in law and then we are meeting up with my father in law and hubby after work to go eat dinner at PF Changs! Now one of our favorite restaurants and places to go - so yummy and so modern classy!

After our weekend away I'm hoping for a girl's night out! It's been WAY too long since I've had a fun night out with my friend - of course we are going to see a girly chick flick because we love to do that, then probably dinner and just having some good ole chick fun!!!! Possibly a pedicure?!!!!

Day 30.

Today is Day 30 on Insanity! I'm so proud I've made it this far! To be honest, when I started, I wasn't sure! Well, I knew I would push myself as hard as I possibly could but I didn't know if it would kill me before I got to the end or not! I'm proud to announce it has not killed me! I am so excited with my progress.....sometimes people say things like "It must be nice to be losing weight" or "It must be nice to have to buy smaller clothes....." And yes, it is nice but the tone makes me feel like they think I'm just magically shrinking. No one understand how I still battle every day with my eating mostly. Working out isn't a big deal anymore, I actually kinda look forward to it. It lifts my spirits and gives me an energy boost. But denying myself all those "yummy" things I normally eat is still hard. I still find myself trying justify eating them in my mind....but I have to quickly shut that voice down because I don't want all my hard work to go to waste. It amazes me all the people that have worked hard on fitness for a few months, seen good results and then totally go back to eating like they were and not working out.....So much work for nothing. Don't get me wrong, if you are perfectly happy how you are then I am good with that! Truly. But if you hate the way you are and want to change but never do then it's time to make the commitment to yourself! Nothing will make you feel prouder of yourself then setting goals and seeing yourself accomplish them. I've lost about 6 inches total so far on this program and my tummy is actually starting to flatten out some! Hopefully in the next 30 days I'll start seeing some ab definition! Woohoo!

I've looked into becoming a coach through Beach Body - which is all the programs I've used on this process. I love the products but I'm just not sure I'm ready to take on selling products and keeping up with people....it's a lot of responsibility. But it's an exciting idea too. I've also considered going back to school and going into something that would let me work in personal training or nutrition. I think it's a field a would be really interested in working in. Lots to think about....I guess it would be good to start now so that by the time Gianna is in school in a few years I would be ready to start a career. It makes me nervous thinking about going back to school. Overwhelming actually. And I guess that's why I shy away from it. I'm not sure I'm ready to put all that hard work into something. A lot to think about for sure! I know I can do it, it's just am I ready to do it?

We are headed of to Savannah this weekend and I so excited! Excited to see our favorite band again, excited to spend time with family, excited about tats possibly, excited about getting away!!!! It's going to be a fun time as always....I am a little nervous about eating right while I'm there. I have to cook so much and it's always a little awkward cooking in other people's kitchens but I don't want to eat bad just because I'm gone. So wish me luck! Lol!!!

I have.....

I have a friend.

She's funny.

She's opinionated.

She is strong.

She listens when I talk and she talks when I just need to listen.

She is sweet.

She is understanding.

She doesn't lie to me.

She is truthful.

She is open.

I can laugh with her,

I can cry with her.

I never feel like anything I say is dumb around her.

She is smart.

She is sensitive.

She is a great mom.

She is a caring wife.

She is independent.

She is tender hearted.

She is forgiving.

She is trustworthy.

She is my pal on a girl's night out.

She is my Twilight buddy.

She is patient.

She is rocker at heart.

She is thoughtful.

She is my best friend.