Disgusted.

Beej had a one day pass to the gym he is a member at and decided to take me! I thought it might be fun to do something a little different so I tagged along. First of all, the gym makes me nervous. I hate how everything you do has to be done in front of everyone. I know, people tell me all the time that no one is looking at me, no one notices, etc. But I can't make myself believe that because I know how much I watch other people so there has to be someone else there who is watching me too! Anyway, did some cardio and Beej showed me how to use a couple machines. Nothing fancy, and it was fun to get out and work out somewhere different. But the gym isn't for me. I get a much better work out at home in front of my TV! Anyway, I weighed as we were leaving......mistake! Lol! I knew I had gained a few pounds over the past few months because I've been eating awful. I've gained 4lbs and I'm totally disgusted with myself. Gag. So I'm bound and determine to get back on track on Monday. Why wait til Monday? I have to prepare myself mentally, grocery shop and just get my head on straight. My priorities have been a bit out of whack lately. Had too many things going on and been too busy to really concentrate and devote the proper amount of time and work to eating healthy, preparing my food properly and charting calories. Which are all things I have to do in order to stay on track. My friend Becca is getting ready to start P90X so I've made her commit to being my accountability partner for a bit so that we can both stay on the right path. I've got to now get at least 9lbs off my August. I don't want to feel all pudgy and yucky during my birthday and of course I want to feel sleek and trim when we go to the beach! I've also found that you have to make your accountability partner someone you feel is way ahead of you as far as fitness and looking good - picking someone that you feel you look better then only makes you slack off and take it easy. Not having anyone really makes you slack off big time! Anyway, I'm eager to get back at it. I feel awful and lazy and I'm ready to feel powerful and positive again. I miss that feeling of confidence.

So here's to getting my priorities straight and taking the time to focus on my fitness and health again....bring on the weight loss again!!!!