Beauty.

“People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.” -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

“The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart” - Helen Keller

“Beauty is how you feel inside, and it reflects in your eyes. It is not something physical.” - Sophia Loren

Whirling Through!

So it begins. Another week. I'm not one of those "I hate Monday's" kinda people. Even when I worked and went to school. I've always kinda liked the routine I'm usually in. Weekends are great, don't get me wrong! I love being with my hubby and sweet girlie on the weekends. This past weekend was amazing as you can read about here! But weekends are always hard for me to stick to eating right, I skipped out on two workouts this past week. Once mid week because I had to be in town SO early in the morning and by the time I got home I just didn't want to do it (I've told you before I HAVE to work out in the mornings!) and then Saturday morning because some of my family was in town and I just wanted to hang out and be lazy! But I'm back! Ready for the week ahead....I'm still doing P90X. I had my "rest" week last week so the work out routine was a little different. I do miss Insanity but I do like the weight sessions that P90X includes. It just takes SO much effort to lose weight.....it truly does! I was talking to someone recently who was saying they were upset because they were gaining weight. And I told them that it takes a lot of concentration and work to lose weight - working out hard, watching calories, making sure you balance what you are eating (Because you can easily eat 1500-1700 calories worth of crap!) and just making sure overall you are balancing eating right and working out hard enough. I know at this point I really need to boost my work outs - longer and harder but I just can't seem to do it. I'm "stuck" in the routine of an hour to an hour and 15 minutes, 6 days a week. I started trying to add some brisk walking a few times a week too but got out of that habit when we had some rainy days back to back. Plus I surrendered my "new" iPod to my hubby because his broke. *sigh* He does need it more then me but it seems like every time I get one his goes out of commission! Guess I'll have to go back to my little Shuffle....I hate it because it doesn't have a screen and I just have to flip through songs till I find what I want.

So moving on - I'm making mental Christmas lists! I haven't started buying anything. I'm usually kinda "last minute" on purchasing gifts. It just works best for me, I guess. I'm still kinda unsure about what to get Bug - I do know her great grandmother is getting her very first pair of Toms shoes and I couldn't be more excited! I showed them to her awhile back online and she was thrilled to have "shoes like Mommy's"!!! But other then that it's all up in the air! I love to get gifts for Bug but I always want to make sure she doesn't get too much - I know people who just go crazy overboard when it comes to gifts, "Nothing is good enough for our kid" kinda thing. Bug deserves the world but I don't want her to become spoiled and ugly. I've dealt with way too many of those kinda kids! I mainly want books and music from my hubby - we usually exchange that kind of thing. We like it because we both like the same kind of music and books so whatever we get each other we usually end up getting to share! We are going to be home for Christmas this year - we talked briefly about going to Bama for Christmas Day but really decided we wanted to be in our home on Christmas morning. I think it's important for us and Bug to really have our own time together on that day.

I'm already thinking about Bug's 4th birthday! She has been very insistent on one theme - I keep trying to sway her but nope, she has it set in her mind already! And it's not my favorite idea but I know she loves it so that makes it special. This is the first year she's really had the decision making reigns in her hands. Last year she was good with what I suggested. The two years before that she really didn't care and just enjoyed the party! This coming year I think will be a smaller, strictly family gathering. We've had some "friends" at previous parties and that's fine but this year I think we'll just keep it mainly to family. I can't believe it's only 4 months away! I know, we aren't even past Christmas yet but Bug's birthday is practically a holiday in my mind! I think we are going to serve Bar-b-que from my hubby's boss' Bar-b-que stand. It's uber yummy!!!

Ok, so I'll just have to admit this really quick and then I'm off to work out - I think I'm getting excited about summer already! Lol! I know, you've probably never heard me say that! But this year we are living at a house with a pool so that means all we have to do is walk out our back door and go swimming and lay out! Woohoo! And that means Beej will actually get to spend some time at the pool with us because usually after work he wouldn't want to drive out to my parents to go swimming but now it's OUR pool! But for the moment I'm enjoying Fall/Winter but I am looking forward to summer time next year!

This has been a random blog brought to you by the mind of Alaythea! Lol! Enjoy your day, week, month, etc. Christmas will be in your face before you know it!!!

So Thankful for a Wonderful Weekend!

We had such a wonderful weekend! I hate that it's over but the great thing is we now have Christmas to look forward to! But I already feel like the Holidays are flying past us. I feel like it's all half over and I haven't even really got to throughly enjoy it enough. I've been looking forward to Thanksgiving for a long time, planning and preparing since it was my first Thanksgiving doing the majority of cooking on my own. It was a little different since we weren't spending the holiday with most of my family but it was good. We ended up hanging out most of the day with my sister and my brother in law and my in laws. It was nice, relaxing and fun. My sis came over and helped me cook and we had fun together - the guys watched football and played video games till we had all the food ready. I'm very proud to say my turkey turned out amazing - tender and juicy! I was PROUD! Lol! That was my biggest worry, I had cooked everything else and knew I could do it. We ended up making Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, green bean casserole, mashed potatoes, sweet potato casserole, corn, pineapple casserole, rolls, fruit salad, apple pie, pumpkin pie, pecan pie and oreo pie!!! It was yummy, for sure! I did miss my family of course but I had a wonderful Thanksgiving and it was fun to host it in my own home this year.

Friday my dad and my other little sister came up from AL. to visit for the rest of the weekend.Bug and I put up the Christmas tree and a few other decorations. We usually do it on Thanksgiving day but T-Day was just so busy by the time we stopped "going" I was exhausted! The BIG Bama vs. Auburn game was on that afternoon. It a HUGE deal for us Alabama fans. It's THE game we look forward to the most every year. We were nervous because Auburn has played very well this year. We've played well but had a few up's and down's that have made up nervous. We were all pumped, all dressed in our Bama gear.....leftover turkey sandwiches were on the menu and whatever leftovers were still in the house - LOTS of leftovers! We had a great start to the game by the half we were up 24-7! And somehow, after Half time, we lost it. We ended up losing 28-27. We were all sick to our stomachs. I still can't really believe we lost. Such a crap way to end our season.....UGH! But we didn't finish off the night so badly - my little sis was in town and I was SO excited! We ended up watching Charlie St.Cloud and soaking our feet in Peppermint Foot scrub which was lovely. The movie was OK but the time spent with my sis was wonderful.

Saturday we had a lazy morning, didn't rush getting up or getting ready. Ended up watching several episodes of Ice Road Truckers! Such an addicting show! But if was fun just hanging out in the living and laughing. After that we finally got ready and had D take our picture for Fall/Christmas. We've got to get Christmas cards out soon and needed a good recent picture. We ended up with some really cute ones! She also took pictures of my sis and bro in law and their two dogs. Then we all piled in Dad's car and headed out to Charlotte - just for the fun of it! We ate dinner at Razoo's Cajun restaurant which is always fun and super yummy. Walked around the mall for awhile, it was super duper busy but that can be fun in it's self. Bug got a couple of little books and I snagged a couple of cute headbands at Forever 21! I was looking for cool owl necklace but never spotted one.....I'll have to keep looking. Maybe I'll get one for Christmas! We finished off our outing with Starbucks - of course! Peppermint Mocha for me, SO good. Bug and Beej had Cream Cheese Pumpkin Spice muffins - I had a little taste and it was so yummy. Very moist and so holiday-ish! Went home and I helped get my parents ministry Christmas cards ready to go and we watched Karate Kid......I was sad to see the night go since I knew my dad and sis were heading back home this morning. I do miss them a lot and spending time with them is a lot of fun!

This morning Dad and D left for Bama and we headed off to church. Church was good....we hit up Taco Bell for lunch and then went by Wal-Mart. Got Bug's pic made with Santa Claus, it was free but I didn't like the way they had to it set up to pick up your photo so I don't know that we'll go get it or not. But I was proud that she walked right up to him, sat in his lap, smiled for her picture and then told him she wanted dolls for Christmas! Lol! Last year she cried every time we wanted her to get near him! She's growing up so fast - she keeps asking for a bike for Christmas but I'm just not sure she's ready for that. So I'm undecided on that one. Her only other request was a Spongebob Fishing set. What?!!! She's never even been fishing and I don't think either of us plan on going anytime soon. Lol! But it's the only other thing she has asked for over and over.....so I'm totally stumped on Christmas for her! Lol!

The rest of today we've spent just hanging out, chillin'. The house needs some help but I have decided to tackle it tomorrow. I'm going to just enjoy the rest of the weekend and leave it at that. I've done a little reading (re-reading Twilight. *sigh* It is THE best of the Saga.) and spent some time designing our Christmas card and watched a little TV. Yep, it's been a good afternoon! I hate to see this wonderful weekend go but I'm looking forward to Christmas and our time at the cabin in TN! Good times ahead, people! How was your Thanksgiving?!

Anger that wilts.

Have you ever seen someone who's entire life becomes wilted because of anger, bitterness and hurt they carry around on a daily basis? I have watched many such cases, usually I'm on the outside looking in so I have a different vantage point than those who are involved. And it amazes me over and over how both parties will blame the other for the fault when in all truth they are both acting the same way! It's just no one wants to admit they are the one at fault. They call each other names - "controlling", "bitter", "stuck up", etc. When they are acting the same way! I think it's the hardest to sit back and watch when both sides are people you care about. You want so badly to shake them and say, "Wake up! This is as much your fault as their's!" But does that ever work? Not usually. Instead those around them suffer daily because of their own stubborn, hard hearts. It puts those who do care for both sides in an awkward position - you can't invite them to the same things, or get together or talk about them without it turning into a big blow out or melt down. They think that "speaking their mind" or "telling it like it is." is the best way. And for the most part it is, but sometimes the truth has to be spoken not only in love but in a peaceful, tactful manner. Not an accusing manner. I know it's hard, I've been there, don't that, etc. It's hard especially when the opposing party won't see your side or accept that they have done things wrong. But sometimes it's not about making other see their mistakes, it's about owning up to yours and doing all you can to be peaceful. Don't compromise yourself, I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying you have to find a way to forgive and move on even when someone else won't. It makes you the bigger person! Don't wait for someone else to make the first move or "forgive first" - by the time that happens that anger might have permanently wilted your life and happiness.

Wishin' it were Wednesday!

I kept thinking last night that today was Wednesday! I was so excited that there was only one more day until Thanksgiving but then I realized it was Tuesday today NOT Wednesday. Oh, well! I'm just so anxious for the fun and festivities to start! I'm going to miss my family this year, it's the first Thanksgiving I can remember that we weren't all together but I also think it's going to be very special this year too - I know my sis and bro-in-law couldn't make the trip down to Bama either so it's special getting to spend the Holiday with them and also to spend some time with my in-laws too. I know most of my hubby's family usually has other plans so it's kinda nice that this year we can include them in the fun!
Yesterday we also booked out Christmas cabin for next month. Every December right before Christmas my mom's side of the family rents a big cabin near the Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg area. We usually spend a weekend there - and it's just so fun! I love the tradition of it, the craziness of it and the fun! It's something I look forward to every year and we've been doing it since before I was married - now I'm married, I have a child, my aunt have two kids this year and my sister is married now. Our family is ever expanding it seems! Hopefully I'll be able to add a nephew or niece to that count in the next few years. Lol! But I think after that it might be awhile before we "grow" any more - no more kids for me, my aunt or my uncle, I don't think my sis 'D' will be getting married anytime soon unless she just shocks the pants off all of us!!! 'C' is only hope of expanding any time in the near future! Lol! I love family - as nutty as it can all be sometimes and as crazy as we make each other at other times I still wouldn't trade it or not have it for anything. But I can't wait to get our Christmas decor up this weekend too....we will probably put it up T-Day evening! I can't wait to crank up the tunes and get it all put it....it will be different this year because we are in a new house this year. I'm trying to figure out where to put the tree too. I know it will be fun with a kitten around too come Christmas Day but we won't have the stuff up much longer after she arrives. My mother in law is trying to talk me into two kittens but I have stood my ground on it! I will not have more then two cats at a time. We won't get another one until Gandalf passes and hopefully that won't be for a long while to come!

I'm working on Christmas carols on the piano right now. Luckily I have two weeks to work on these before my next lessons because they are a little harder then what I've been working on but I enjoy the challenge! It makes me feel so proud when I can finally play it through without mistakes or stumbling. I'm working on Hark, the Herald Angels Sing and Silent Night. I ended up charting out the note names because it was making my head hurt trying to "see" it all....but I'm getting ready to remove those at least from Hark! and see what I can do. I don't like to memorize the note names, I like to be able to recognize the note itself. I haven't even tackled Silent Night yet, I could only handle one at a time! Lol! Beej sat down last night and started teaching himself to play a song by The Killers. It's awesome, he's awesome and I'll just leave it at that!!! He has more talent in his little finger then I do in my entire body!!!

Well, I'm off to work out and to finish cleaning out the work out room....I tackled cleaning the blinds yesterday and that was enough for yesterday! I watched Twilight while I cleaned so it was a good day! Lol! I'm also re-reading Breaking Dawn right now and I just can't imagine it as a movie in my head. The characters "change" so much in this last one that it's hard for me to imagine the actors in their roles. I can't wait for Eclipse to come out on DVD so that I can watch it again, I haven't seen it since June!

Massive Migraines....

I felt fine yesterday....no unusual or out of the ordinary which is usually how it all starts. I don't even see it coming and then WHAM! it hits me. Last night my eyes were starting to feel a little tired around 7pm so I went and took my contacts out and got my glasses. After I did that I kept seeing a weird swirly line in the corner of my vision and it was making it difficult to focus. So I laid down on the couch for a minute with my eyes closed hoping it would pass but instead it kept building and suddenly, out of no where, it hit! Crazy migraine!!! I never get headaches.....unless I'm having sinus problems and then it's just that slight bothersome headache that goes away with a little medicine. These migraines aren't touched by medicine. It's pointless to take them. I've only have 3 or 4. After the first one I did a little research and talked to some people who I know have headache problems too. And well, as far as I can tell different things can cause them and there isn't much that can be done about them. They are known as Complex Migraines. Most people say stress triggers them. I think in my case it may be caused by dehydration or at least a lack of hydration. I have been uping my water in take over the past week but I still don't think it's enough. But these headaches are insane - they literally feel like my head it splitting in half. They make my ears hurt, my teeth hurt and my eyes feel like they are going to burst. Like I said no medicine, that I've tried so far, has touched them. Crying relieves it for a moment or two then it's back! The scariest and worst part of these migraines is numbness. The first time it happened and before I researched it scared me so bad I thought I might have a heart attack! For about 5-7 minutes my whole hand and arm on my right side goes numb, tingly, like it's falling asleep and then it slowly creeps up my arm, through my shoulder and into the side of my face and finally ends with my tongue and roof of my mouth going numb on the right side only. During that the headache eases up ALOT, but as soon as the numbness passes the headache comes back. Usually the only thing that helps is to go to bed and just wait for it to pass. I'm thankful that I don't have these often or close together. So far I've had about 4 over the past two years. I can't imagine being someone who deals with migraines often. I don't know how they function. I ended up in bed at 7:30pm trying to sleep it off. This morning I'm fine but I still feel kinda weak and shaky. From what I've researched lots of people have them and lots of them have been seen by a neuro and they are all told the same thing - just tough it out, nothing can be done. The numbness occurs because the brain becomes so overloaded by the intensity of the pain that it actually starts trying to shut off the body's nerve endings to provide it with some relief. So that's how my evening went down last night! No fun!

But moving on - we got everything for Thanksgiving dinner yesterday after church. At least I think I got everything! I keep double checking, I'm just so afraid I forgot something. So much pressure is on me! Lol! Luckily, my sis is going to come over and help me cook that day too so it won't ALL be on me. And my mother in law is going to cook up a few things to bring. I think it will all go smoothly and there will be loads of delicious food for everyone!

Church was good yesterday too - a very energetic and happy atmosphere. We had a visiting "celeb"! Lol! A good friend of the whole church, Jaye Thomas, brought his lovely wife-to-be and her daughter to visit. He was supposed to sing, he has an incredible voice, but his voice was gone from singing all weekend but he introduced everyone and it was so good to see them! We also spoke with a good "Facebook" friend of ours too - it's funny because we are on FB all the time and we sit across the row from each other every Sunday at church but rarely actually speak! It was nice to actually talk to her - she is always so upbeat and encouraging! It really will make your day just seeing her! Thank God for encouraging people!

Got to work out, clean up the work out room because we're putting a table in there to eat on at Thanksgiving, make a few phone calls and see what else the day holds!!!

Cheating Minds, Cheating Hearts

Cheating - adulterous: not faithful to a spouse or lover
Cheating is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others

First of all, let me clarify one thing - I am NOT writing this blog because I have any doubts that my husband is 100% faithful to me! I am NOT writing this blog because I have ever even THOUGHT about being unfaithful to my husband. I honestly can't imagine even thinking that way. It was how I was raised, it is what I know in my own heart and mind to be true. And I believe that when you truly have committed in your heart to love and honor someone then you do it - you deny the sinful, lustful part of you not only to honor them but to honor God as well. For me, in a marriage cheating and divorce are not option. I think all young couple probably make the mistake of threatening "divorce" when they are angry and arguing. I know I did it but finally one day I realize that wasn't something I really ever wanted to consider and so my husband and I made the commitment to not threatened that anymore to each other. Because it wasn't an option. I used to get jealous when my hubby commented on another woman being pretty or attractive. And then one day I realize that just because either of us commented on the attractiveness or beauty of another person did not mean we wanted to be with that person or had sinful thoughts about them! It freed me up a lot, I stopped worrying that I wasn't enough for my husband or that at any minute he was going to up and leave me. I realize that I was being jealous and protective for no reason at all. I have never doubted that even in the roughest spots of our marriage that my husband was faithful to me....and I hope that he can say the same!

But the reason I am bringing up this subject is because I see people over and over, every day, people I know, who are constantly worried and wondering if they are being cheated on by their significant other - whether they are married to them yet or not. I can't imagine the strain and emotional pull that puts not only on them personally but also on their relationship. One of THE biggest keys to a relationship is trust - you can love someone to no end but if you don't trust them you will never have a good relationship. It will constantly be strained and stretched and you will constantly feel "worn out' emotionally because of it. I would never ever tolerate cheating, because I know that personally I could never trust that person again even if they promised to never do it again. I would always be wondering and that's why I've always told my husband (in a kinda joking way but I'm serious) IF (and once again let me clarify that I believe 1000% that he would NEVER do that to me or G.) he ever cheated that would be it. We would be done. Over. Period. Because a relationship will never last without trust. And just because someone has had other relationships in life, even if these were sans cheating doesn't mean they can't move on from those and love completely. I feel like some many relationships/marriages concentrate so much on past relationships on either side. I have to realize that yes, I dated other guys (I think I probably loved some of them too - for THAT MOMENT.) and I know my husband dated someone else too and he loved her, for that moment. But that does not mean he hasn't moved on and given me his whole heart or vice versa. You choose to continue or to stop loving someone. It truly is a choice. Too many people choose to stop loving someone and do something low to hurt them and then blame it on the other person. BUT let me clarify that you have to do your part too. You can't become hard, cold, angry, argumentative, back stabbing, nagging and pull away from someone and expect them to just keep right on loving you in the same way they have before. It takes two!

I honestly can say that I don't worry when my hubby is around other pretty women. Truly. I have realized that he can talk, cut up with, and laugh with another woman and that doesn't mean he wants to sleep with her! Seriously! I know too many women who worry all the time about if their hubby is hanging out with other women at work or wherever they are on a day to day basis. So what if they are? If you truly believe they are capable of cheating then you shouldn't be with them in the first place!
I know that at work my hubby encounters lots and lots of pretty, attractive women - I know he's polite and friendly and that's perfectly ok! I am so glad I got over the whole "we can't talk about other cute people cause we are married" crap. I like that I have the liberty say something like "Ohhhh, Robert Pattinson is SO adorable, I love his hair!" and my hubby can say, "Eva Mendes is gorgeous" and neither of us flip out!

I guess I'm just trying to say that if you don't trust the person you are with then you shouldn't be with them. And here's another thing - just because you have a cheating mindset doesn't mean they do. I see women (and men) all the time who don't trust their significant other, not because their "other" has had any problems with cheating but because THEY have. Because they've had relationships where they've cheated, lied or been cheated and lied too. So they assume everyone thinks that way. They think that because they've been sneaking around behind someone's back then the same thing is happening behind their back!

TRUST that the person you love loves you enough to honor you. Honor them and leave it at that.


P.S. I'd like to say a great big thank you to my new followers! I was so excited to see that over this past weekend I have acquired 4 new followers!!! How exciting to share my life, thoughts, ideas and joys with you!

Part Two - Beach Pics

( C and D - my little sisters!)


(A playing in the sand....)


(Looking for shells...)


(the view from our condo)


(Beautiful)


(Beautiful sunrise!)


(C and Nana at Kitty's Cafe)


(Aunt B and A at Lulu's)


(Enjoying ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery! Strawberry in a waffle cone, the only way she likes it!)


(We buried D! Lol!)

Part One - Beach Pics

Here is part one of my beach photos....enjoy!


(The beautiful beach and my beautiful sister!)


(Is she not breath taking?!)


(Sisters!)


(Hand in hand.....)


(She was trying so hard to "surf"!!)


(Searching for shells....)


(It was super windy out!)


(Me and C)


(Aunt Char Char and Bug!)


(Nana, all ready for the beach!)

GRRRRR!

So I am very, very frustrated with Blogger right now. No matter how I try to post a photograph it simply will not show up! So I can't post anything about our beach trip.....so needless to say I am so very frustrated. I can't seem to figure it out. So if anyone has any tips please let me know. When I post a photograph it says it's "done" but once I click "done" it simple shows up as HTML text, not a picture.

So just hold on until I can get this figured out and can blog all about it because it's no fun to blog without photos!!!

But in the mean time I'm preparing for my very first Thanksgiving alone - well, my in laws will be here and my sister and her husband but this is the first time I have been in charge of getting the meal together and hosting it at my own home. I feel all grown up suddenly! Lol! Although I'm going to miss spending time with my family in AL. I am glad that we don't have to travel right now. We just made a trip to Bama at the end of Oct. and then we just made that huge 9 hr. trip to the beach and back last weekend. I'm kinda glad we are just staying home this time. Of course we'll be traveling for Christmas though! This is my menu plan (if you have a good recipe for any of these menu items, PLEASE share it with me!!! Especially how to cook a turkey!):

Turkey and stuffing
Mashed potatoes and gravy
Green bean casserole
Rolls
Corn
Sweet potato casserole
Fruit salad
Pumpkin pie
Apple pie

I'm most nervous about the turkey obviously, nothing is worse then dry turkey! And of course, balancing cooking everything at the right now. I have no doubt I can cook everything, just making sure it's cooked at the right time so it's not cold or dried out by the time we eat it!!! Wish me luck!

We love the beach.

We had such a wonderful time at the beach this past weekend!

It was so much fun taking my daughter to the

beaches I grew up going to and loved so much.

She LOVED it, loved the sand, the shells, the water, all of it.

She was so brave, running out into the water, playing in the waves,

collecting shells, making sand castles.

I can't wait until we can go back as a family,

I know Beej would love it!

It's just beautiful there in Gulf Shores.

Better then any

NC beach, ever!

I will blog all about our trip and share more pictures soon

but this one was my absolute favorite

of the whole weekend.

My sis, C, took it and my sis, D, edited it!

30 Random Facts!

1. My middle name was my mother's best friend's middle name. So even though

it means "bitter" it's still special!

2. I love fashion although I'm not a very fashionable person.

3. I wish I could sew so that I could transform thrift store finds into something

special that would actually fit me well!

4. I hate rainy weather. It makes me feel lazy and lethargic. Not to mention

it's a huge pain to get out in and I always have to go somewhere

on rainy days!

5. I'm a shoe addict. I admit it! I could never have enough shoes and my

daughter can never have enough shoes! They just make everything better

and every outfit, no matter how old, seem like new!

6. Red is my favorite color although I rarely wear it. I stick to neutrals

like black, grey and brown.

7. I love being girly - there have never been ONE moment in life

where I wished I was a boy!

8. My toenails are always painted and I hate nothing more then when people

wear chipped nail polish with open toed shoes. If your nails are chipped,

wear closed toed shoes! Lol!

9. I was originally going to name my daughter, Eisley. Now that I adore that

band so much and see how crazy talented they are I wish I had stuck to that plan.

10. I love cats but I have sworn to never, ever have more then 2 at a time

I will not be seen as a "crazy cat lady"!

11. Sometimes I'm scared to truly believe in myself. Because

what if I fail and make a fool of myself?

12. I do not like hot dogs unless I get in the "mood" for them and

then suddenly, nothing tastes better!

13. I won't eat chicken sandwiches. One of my exes ruined them for me for life!

14. I love the beach but I wouldn't want to live there full time,

it would ruin the magic of visiting.

15. I love the cartoon Phineas and Ferb. I often make Bug watch it so that I can too!

16. I LOVE breakfast, it's the greatest meal of the day. I could eat it any

time of the day and be totally happy. One of my favorite breakfasts is

Cracker Barrel's French Toast with bacon and scrambled eggs!

17. I don't really like coffee but I love the smell and I love Mocha's from Starbucks.

18. I actually look forward to my daughter dating, I love young love!

19. It aggravates me that people try to make something out of nothing.

20. I do not tolerate people who lie to me or talk about me behind my back.

And I've learned, if they do it about someone else they are doing it

to you too.

21. I'm not possessive or obsessive. I figure if people want to leave

then God has something better for me!

22. I tend to hold onto things for sentimental reason although they have no

real value. Thank God I have a husband who brings me back

to reality and helps me keep my life cleaned out and cleared out!

23. I love music and I love writing a song but I'm not very confident in my abilities.

24. I'm SO happy I'm learning to play the piano, I love being able to sit down

and actually KNOW something about playing it. The sound is magical and

the feel of playing is so relaxing (most of the time!).

25. I love bonfire's and s'mores! They make me happy and bring back

warm memories.

26. Even though I come from a rather large family and I never wanted one of my

own, too much chaos. I like things a little more simple.

27. I was home schooled my entire life and no, I won't home school

my child. Not only do I not like to teach but I also don't

feel like I know everything that needs to be taught and nor could

I teach it well. Plus I hope that Bug will be involved in

things like cheerleading, track, etc.

28. Working out is one of my past times now. I like the way I feel

after I work out. Not to mention I like the way I feel when I get

dressed too!

29. I wish I loved eating healthier, it's still such a struggle for me.

30. I'm working on my very first EP! I hope everyone loves it.

It has a name but I'm not telling just yet!!!!

When "home" isn't home....

I am feeling a wee bit unsettled here lately. Most people would say it's because my family isn't here anymore. But as much as I miss them I have actually adjusted quite well to them being gone. I guess it helps that one of my sister's is still close by and I see her and talk to her quite a bit now. And that Beej's Mom and Dad are still here too. I wouldn't want Bug to be completely without family around. But, like I said, I just feel like I don't belong here. Don't ask me where I belong because of that I'm not sure either all I know is where I am at is not really home. Of course having Bug and Beej around will always make where ever I am "home".

But where you are can either encourage you to be what you want to be or discourage you and drag you down and this place that we live now is discouraging and a drag to be quite honest. It doesn't seem a lot of motivation resides here! Most of the people who are here don't think they could do any better or don't really want to do any better. And hey, I'm not saying you shouldn't be content with where you are or what you have. If you are truly content then enjoy that! But we aren't content. Our hearts are not settled and happy here. But we aren't sure where we are supposed to be.....we know where we would like to be but we aren't sure that's the direction we are supposed to go or not. My husband has a dream and a goal in life with music and that's not really "happening" here. He needs to be somewhere that really encourages and embraces what he wants and needs to see his dream to fruition.

Today as I was around town I realized how out of place I feel every time I step out......this isn't one of those quite, cute little old towns where everyone knows everyone is happy and enjoys life and everything is quiet and settled and peaceful. The feeling of depression and poverty over this town is overwhelming and sometimes just going out to the store makes me feel depressed! No joke. All I can say is that even though we are "home" we are not yet truly home. And I do hope that God will show us where He wants us to be soon.....I don't want to be writing these same feelings down 3 or 4 years from now. Ultimately I'd like to be gone from here before Bug starts kindergarten! But I know my plans aren't always God's plans! So I'm praying God gives us some clear direction soon.

________________________

Moving on though - I actually had a really good day today! My sis came over and I cut and colored her hair - it looked pretty good when she left! I also did her eye brows and painted her toenails in preparation for the beach this weekend!

I also colored my hair, same thing, just darker. I like to refresh my color occasionally just to keep it rich and healthy looking. Not to mention is just makes my hair feel and look good! I also re-painted my toenails too - I bought a new color the other day and it's quite cute on!

I painted Bug's nails too - she picked out an Ocean blue for her pretty little toes. She's such a little fashion bug and I love it! I also did something for her today that would probably shock most mom's but hey, I'm a cosmetologist.

So yeah, I highlighted Bug's hair today! Lol! Not alot and you can't tell a huge difference. It blends really well with her hair, just kinda looks like she's been hanging out in the sun awhile. Her hair is a sandy brown - not truly brown but not really blonde either and I thought since we were going to the beach and since we were all doing our hair she wanted to get in on the action too! It's adorable and fun and I will always love doing fun, girly things with my sweet baby girl! She originally asked for pink but I think we'll wait till her 10th birthday for that!

So we are headed off to Gulf Shores, AL this weekend. I haven't been there in YEARS! We used to go every summer when I was a little girl - before there were five of us kids! I remember going when it was just me, Charity and maybe DeeAnna. After that we stopped going but I still had such amazing memories of how beautiful and fun it was. And I am so excited about taking Bug! She's hasn't really been to the beach yet and she is so excited especially since her buddy, A, will be there too.

I'm excited about the road trip down, the fun while we're there!

It's in honor of my Grandmother's 70th birthday. It's all girls trip (with the exception of my 2 mon. old cousin who's a boy!) and I think we're going to have loads of fun and of course I'll bring back lots of pictures for you all to enjoy!!!

For now I'm signing off - going to enjoy the rest of the evening with my gorgeous girl and yummy hubby!!! Holding off on packing until tomorrow, there's plenty of time. I'm making my list and checking it twice - 9 hrs. is a pretty long drive to forget something you need!

Have a great weekend, my lovelies!

Gypsy Love

Thought I would share a couple of recent pictures of our sweet little

Gypsy Love

She's getting so big now! By the time she comes and lives with us

in December I can't imagine how big she'll be!

We got to spend the afternoon with her yesterday and she's so cute

and so much fun!!!

She is about 3 1/2 months old now!

Happy Monday.

Good morning, all my lovelies!

I hope you rested well last night. I know I did! My hubby had a nice fire going in

the stove and it made the house so pleasantly warm and cozy!

We stayed up pretty late, especially since we had the whole time change thing

yesterday - I think I was up till 11pm which is still midnight in my mind and body

and for those of you who know me, that's pretty late for me!

We started watching the movie Eagle Eye - we apparently saw it back when it first came out

but I don't remember it at all and Beej couldn't remember it much either so we

started watching it again. So far it was pretty awesome! But of course,

we didn't make it through the whole thing! Way too tired, so we'll try to finish it up later.

Thank goodness for Netflix, I think we've already had this movie for like two weeks!

We also started working on my second song yesterday. Beej has put a lot of time and effort

into the track and I always feel a little scared to lay vocals because it sounds

so nice without them! Lol! I'm struggling with my vocals ever since we started

recording a few days ago. I know I'm rusty and out of practice. I used to

sing so much between traveling with my dad, practice at home and singing

on the praise team at church. Now I rarely do any of those except sing at home

occasionally. I've got to start taking more time to work with my voice because

I feel like I'm pushing to make anything happen when I sing. My voice seems weak

and sketchy. I feel like I'm having a hard time holding my notes strong.

But I finally got the first verse vocals laid yesterday and I think I'm pretty good with

them. I'm eager to finish laying the rest of the vocals, maybe tonight.

I'm going to work today on really stretching and warming up my voice and hopefully

it will sound good tonight. I feel like my vocals are so plain compared to all

the vocalists I admire these days. They all have something very unique and

distinct about their voices, I feel mine is a bit "common."

So today starts my second week of P90X. I have had a couple of things here and there

over the weekend that weren't the best option but I ate a small amount and

didn't over splurge but I haven't had ANY sugar. That is something I have

decided not to splurge on at all. It seems to me that if I keep my portions

in check when it comes to having a splurge here and there I'm fine, but sugar

starts packing on the weight in a matter of days! So even if I do have a little something

I shouldn't I make sure it isn't sugar. I've resisted s'more, ice cream, Halloween candy

and fresh baked chocolate chip cookies this weekend! Yes, I feel proud! The cookies

were the hardest! They smelled and looked SO good! But I kept reminding myself

how crappy I'd feel if I gave in and had any. That seemed to work.

But it's amazing how eating right and putting a little extra work into the working out dept.

really does help! This past week I dropped two pounds and lost 3 inches total!

So I'm pretty pleased with that! I am going to keep adding walking in

at least four times a week. Just walking around the yard with my iPod has been fun.

Adding walking with weight training really does wonders!

I have spent a good deal of time at the piano this weekend, just trying to finish up some

songs for the EP. I just had a few simple little piano ditties to practice on piano because

my new book hadn't come in. And honestly, they haven't held my attention much!

I was kinda bored with them after the first day. I need something a little more

challenging. Hopefully next week I'll get something a little more interesting!

But I did finish up a song, at least I'm pretty sure it's finished! And I'm pleased with it,

and hopefully we'll get it recorded for the EP!

I'm off to work out, peeps! I hope that this Monday treats you well and that you

are happy and healthy.

We aren't totally healthy here at the Carroll house, Bug has been sick

for awhile and she can't seem to shake it. All stopped up and snotty. No fun.

I keep pumping her full of vitamins but it doesn't seem to be doing much.

This house is so different then our apartment. It's colder and drier. And this time of year

Bug always seems to get sick. I'm fighting a bit of a cold too. But hopefully

all the vitamins I take will help to keep me from getting really sick.

Be encouraged as well. It is so easy to be discouraged. Our pastor spoke on courage

and discouragement yesterday at church. It's funny because that very

afternoon after hearing that message I allowed myself to become very, very discouraged

and it took me awhile to shake it. But the whole time our pastors words were

echoing in my head! It took awhile but I finally shook it and moved on.

Don't let people's words, opinions or self doubt affect you.

Don't let discouragement attack your:

Voice

Vision

Vitality

Voyage

or

Victory!

Frosty Morning

It officially frosted over last night! The grass is all bright and frosty this morning....it may have frosted before now but I don't remember it if it did. Plus the time switch over last night too so it will be getting darker earlier now and that is the ONE thing I dislike about Fall and Winter. I hate it getting dark at like 5pm. But I'm excited that it's finally getting cold enough to wear boots, sweaters and coats and actually need them! I pulled out stockings, boots and a beautiful sweater dress for Bug to wear to church this morning, I love dressing her up and fixing her hair, it's like having a live doll to play with! Lol!

No big plans today after church, we'll probably grab some lunch and then come home and hopefully start working on the production of my next song. I'm excited to work on it, it was the first song I wrote after I start learning to play piano so it's my first official piano song! It's pretty simple but I like it a lot and Beej likes it a lot too so it's always fun to work on a song that both "artist" and producer like. I know I have one song that I really love but Beej doesn't care for as much - at first that really bothered me but I realized that he wasn't saying it wasn't any good he was just saying it wasn't his favorite. He has songs like that for me but I know he still loves them and is proud of them so I'm doing the same - just being proud of what I write, or trying at least!

I'm pretty excited about the holidays fast approaching, we've got to start buying Christmas presents. Deciding what to get everyone is always a bit of a challenge. Shopping for Bug is still so much fun because she just loves anything you get her -I hope that we can teach her to maintain that attitude even as she gets older. I think a few things on my "wish" list are LOTS of iTunes cards because I have a lot of music I want to buy, some new Toms shoes because I love them so, and maybe New Moon and Eclipse on DVD and Breaking Dawn the book too. And possibly a few new clothing items! Can't go wrong with clothes!!!

It's getting close to the time when I pull out all the Christmas decorations - this will be our first Christmas in the new house so I'm not sure how I'll decorate. Trying to decide where to put the tree already......I think I may need to buy a few more decorating items because we have more room and more space to decorate now!!!! I LOVE the Holidays!!!

Shhhh....recording.

So the first "official" track for my upcoming EP is recorded. It sounds so odd saying that! I guess because I've talked about recording something for everyone to purchase and hear forever now but it's just never been done. Now that we are on track to actually complete a project with my name on it I'm quite excited! It has a name, it has the tentative tracks laid out although those could change over time, and it has a possible release date. All of that I'm keeping on the down low for now because they are subject to change and we need to get a few more things set in stone before we go announcing it to everyone! But I am excited and thrilled with the prospects. It's making me work even harder at piano because I want to be able to write and play some neat stuff. I'm growing and learning and have to be patient with myself. I've only been at this for a little over four months and I'm already pleased with how far I've come. I just know what I want to be able to play and do and I'm not there yet. I'm impatient, what can I say! Tonight Beej and I sat down at the piano and he started teaching me to play a song that he started writing for me that I'm hoping to help him finish for the EP. He is so talented on piano and it just makes me wither watching and listening to him play! He writes such neat and catchy pieces and they seem so complicated to my poor little mind.....but I'm trying and actually learned a few new chords this evening. He has neat little ways of helping me remember "rules" to playing with chords and figuring them out. I've got a couple of songs I'm really excited to hear produced and a couple I think if I can get them completed they'll be good too! I love hearing how Beej finalizes them, I tend not to be able to hear past the simplistic-ness of what I've written, and he hears the full blown band!!! I feel like he really does all the work......but I'm excited to actually be working on it and I can't wait for everyone to be able to hear it.

We've had a great day today - ran errands up in Hendersonville and decided on Atlanta Bread Co. for lunch again today. Mainly because Bug wanted "oranges" for lunch which was what she had there last time with her PB&J - mandarin orange slices. So we went back because it's so yummy and it's perfect on a nice, chilly day! We actually started making a fire in our wood stove last night because it's been getting pretty cold in the house at night especially, today it was cold all day pretty much. I love it! Breaking out the coats and boots....I'm still trying to find some little knit hats for Bug though. The few I've found are just ridiculously priced but they are just so cute I keep looking because Bug would be adorable in them!!! Anyway, got off subject, after that we ran by Wal-Mart to grab a few things - Bug tends to think the world has ended if chocolate milk and grapes don't exist in the house!!! Lol! She has recently decided she likes hot dogs with a bun - I know this sounds silly but it kinda makes me sad. No longer am I cutting up her hot dogs in little pieces but now she's eating it out of a bun, whole. *sniff sniff* After that we've just hung out at home all day.....

X

Today is Day 4 of P90X for me - and that means Yoga X! Yikes. It's killer for sure.....mainly because it's an hour and a half long! I am usually pushing my attention span after an hour but by the time you feel like you should be done with this you are only 2/3 the way done! But you do feel good once it's over, it stretches you out and it helps a lot with being sore which I am right now. Not nearly as bad as it was the first time I did P90X but I'm still sore which is good, it means I'm working hard. I think it's good for me to switch between P90X and Insanity - P90X helps me build up the muscle tone I need to stay fit and keeping burning the fat but Insanity is the cardio I need to get that last little bit off. So going back and forth seems to work good for me. I do want to get Turbo Fire, still do.....I think it will be good although Chalene does get on my nerves a bit - she's a little too showy and giddy but she's good. Tony and Shaun T. are my faves of course!

So far I've done very well sticking with my eating plan, keeping it to about 1500 calories a day for now, yesterday I had probably closer to 1800 but I wasn't too worried. I went to Jason's Deli in Charlotte last night with my dad, sis, bro in law and Bug. W e went to celebrate my dad's b-day which is today. I went ahead and looked up what I was going to get before hand. I decided on the Club Lite sandwich and baked chips which was just over 500 calories. I got Bug the organic PB&J on wheat which I did eat a little of so I tacked on a few extra hundred calories. BUT I did resist getting anything at Starbucks! So I was proud in the end - because I LOVE Starbucks Mocha's and it would have been perfect last night, all chilly and rainy. I knew I would feel so guilty if I gave it and had one so I resisted!!!! And I went home happy and proud of myself!

So I'm doing the SlimFast plan which included two meal shakes a day which I have for breakfast and lunch, then you have two snacks - one mid morning and one mid afternoon - then a sensible dinner. My mid afternoon snack I do a Slimfast snack bar and a piece of fruit but my mid morning snack has become a favorite of mine! A piece of fruit and two boiled egg whites with hot sauce!!!!

SOOOOO yummy! And good for you! I don't like boiled egg yolks at all, I only eat the whole egg if I scrabble it but when it's boiled I like to whites only. And dipped in a little hot sauce they are too yummy! I haven't looked up the calorie content but I know two whole eggs has 96 calories and that most of the calories are in the yolks so I feel good eating them and ENJOYING them! Lol!

Today it's over cast and rainy outside - so I don't know that we'll get our outdoor time but we are going to work on a little "school" work this afternoon. Bug got a new book to help her learn how to cut shapes, she also got a little pair of scissors perfect for her size! She's already cut a little swatch of hair of Gandalf and got in some trouble for that. I told her if she EVER cuts her own hair off there is going to be some SERIOUS discipline going on. I think I would die if she messed up with little hair she has! Lol! But today we are moving on to numbers 3 & 4 and the letter B - although she can count to twenty and knows the alphabet we are working on recognizing the number and it's written word form and we are working on letters sounds now. I'm hoping that she'll know all her letter sounds by the time she start Pre-K and will well on her way to reading if not already there!

So have a happy day, peeps, I'm off to X it!!!

Withdrawals....

Yup, that's pretty much exactly what I feel like! Lol! No joke. I feel awful. This whole coming off of junk food and sugar AGAIN totally sucks. I know what's coming every time I do it, I don't know why I can't remember it and just be motivated to steer clear of sugar and junk for good. Some how I keep getting sucked back into it. I think it's safe to say I have an addiction - yeah, it's not fun admitting that but for a long time I've known that I truly have a love/hate relationship with food in general but especially breads, potatoes, pasta and SUGAR. And I'm not one of those people who can just limit myself to a little bit or a small taste - once I let myself have a little I totally lose it. So sad, isn't it? I don't know how I got this way or why but it's something I struggle with day in and day out. It gets easier but there is still always that pull and tug when I see it or it's offered to me. Today my mother in law offered my a Coke. Gosh, I almost caved, but snapped it together when I remembered how dang guilty I would feel if I gave in on my second day and had a silly coke - all because it's sweet and delicious! Lol!

Today is my second day without sugar and eating right again - watching calories and all. I'm doing the SlimFast plan too right now - at least to give myself a boost. I'm pleased that in two days I've dropped 2lbs! I know most of it was water weight but I don't feel as bloated so I'm pleased. It's also my 2nd day of my third round of P90X. I just needed to do something different after almost three rounds of Insanity. I was getting bored. But I need the routine these programs offer at the same time. Tony Horton was my original "fit coach" and I need him to help me get myself back in order! I still haven't gotten bands and I don't have anywhere I can put up my pull up bar so I'm doing what moves I can with free weights and/or subbing in push ups instead. So I still feel like I'm getting a good work out and sticking with the program. Today was Plyo (Jump Training) it always kicks my booty - I'll probably be sore in the morning. But I'm proud to say I've made it two full days so far back on track - it's been ROUGH but good. I feel so much better about myself even though I feel like I'm going to lose my mind for the first few days. It doesn't help that my house is still full of Halloween junk and candy - stuff to make S'mores, cupcakes and candy. Phew! Talk about a test of will power. The funny thing is I'm fine all day long, don't even think twice about it but after supper time, UGH! It's such a battle of the wills! Thank God for sugar free popsicles tonight......even though it doesn't completely take away the craving it helps curb it a little and give me time to think myself through it.

But what upsets me most and gets me in a funk and a depression sometimes if that food has such a hold on me. I don't understand and yet I do understand. If that makes any sense at all. It frustrates me that I get so worked up about it, that is consumes so much of my thought process (I have to constantly think "don't eat that, don't eat that....."). I feel like I'm in this never ending cycle - do really good, then do bad, then start doing good again, then bad, then....etc. I feel like I'm going to be fighting this for the rest of my life. Maybe I am, maybe I need to resign myself to this battle. This is my "thorn" so to speak. I laugh when I hear people say "I forgot to eat today." I can't imagine what that's like - no matter how crazy busy I get I NEVER forget to eat! Lol! I have to remind myself NOT to eat.

I feel like no matter how hard I work out it's not enough to get me where I want or need to be. I'm always chasing that elusive goal or so it seems. I've started taking Bug outside to play every day for at least an hour , it's one of my new daily goals, at least 30 mins of that time I spend walking briskly around the yard. Just a little extra boost, hopefully.

Monday I took about 45 minutes to work with Bug on some "school" type things. We went over the number 1 & 2 and we learn "A" and the A sound. And about Big A and Little a. We also painted some Fall colored leaves and read a few books. She really enjoyed it and had fun showing off her work to her daddy when he got home. I hope to do that a few times a week. I have no intentions of homeschooling - people ask me all the time. I guess because I was home schooled and so was my hubby for most of his life. But I just can't. I don't enjoy teaching at all, I don't have the patience and I know that I do not know everything she needs to know, curriculum or not. Plus as an only child I think it's going to be important for her to have that interaction that school will bring. Tomorrow I think we'll tackle 3 & 4 and the letter B!

I've also spent a lot more time practicing piano this week - I don't know if it'll show come lesson time or not but I really have been making sure to really practice and not only practice what I've been given to learn but also just try to mess around and write my own ideas and songs beyond just basic chords. It's not easy! I wrote a little "riff" today, but that sounds so simplistic, BUT I have to remember it's a step in the right direction! And I'll keep at it! Slow but sure.......

Tonight at dinner I tried something a little different - we have a hard time eating all our veggies! I'm just not a big veggie person and I can't just eat salad all the time. Last night I fixed French Cut green beans which is the ONLY way I'll eat green beans, even Bug ate them with ketchup of course! But tonight I made spaghetti, whole wheat pasta and organic sauce. I also boiled some carrots before hand and pureed them in the blender then I added them to the sauce! You couldn't eve tell they were there and I felt like we were getting a little extra veggie boost with our dinner!!!!

What a Weekend, loves!

We had quite the fabulous weekend! Loads of fun and really peaceful too! That may sound funny but alot of times between EVERYONE things can get a bit chaotic and crazy but this weekend was just fun and relaxing! And I enjoyed every minute of time with my Bug, the hubby and my sis and her new hubby (my brother in law, I have one now! lol!). I've already blogged about our Friday which was loads of fun....Saturday Beej and his friend went on a huge 11 1/2 mile hike up in the mountains, it took most of the day so Bug and I stayed home and got some things done and bathed the Golden Retriever, Max, who was going to live with my sis and her hubs. We also planned to eat dinner at their new house with them and carve some new pumpkins because Max at the one we carved Friday night! Lol! I can laugh now but I was pretty upset when I saw it Sat. morning. And we attempted making cupcakes in a toaster oven because the oven wasn't working! Lol! Fun times for sure! Here's a few pics from Sat. night at Charity and J's. Bug just loves her Uncle J and he's very patient with her.....

Uncle J helping Bug clean out her mini pumpkin!

Bug's little pumpkin with flying ghosts....

My "ghoulish" friends pumpkin!!!

Sunday we went to church and heard a great message from Pastor John - after church we had our "traditional" Taco Bell for lunch and ran by Wal-Mart and picked up stuff for the bonfire later that night. Later that after we dressed Bug up again and took her to Adaville Baptist's Trunk or Treat.....

Fun, fun - yet again!

Walking through the lines.....

Everyone thought she was the cutest sweet bee ever!

After that we headed back home where Beej and his dad were getting the bonfire going.....and it ended up being an awesome fire! We roasted hot dogs and then marshmallows to make s'mores. It was all so yummy and messy and loads of fun! I can't wait to do another one soon! Bug got the biggest kick out of it all. The stars were out in masses - it was nice and chilly too. It as a great end to a great weekend all around!

Our blazing fire!

Bug and Uncle J

Charity - no she wasn't sad, just contemplating the fun! Lol!

Beej and his Dad, John

Me and Char-Char!
Me and my man - isn't he gorgeous?!!!

Hope everyone had as wonderful of a weekend as we did!!!