I'm Here.

It's all over now, well, sorta. We said goodbye to Granny yesterday, Friday. The funeral was pleasant, not overly sad which was nice. They played that song Homesick by MercyMe. I cried a lot during that song. Even though I'm sad, I think I'm starting to move past that now. I'm glad she isn't in pain anymore, I'm glad she's whole and well, I'm glad she's full of life and peace now. Now I'm just sad for my grandfather. My grandmother was his life, they were married 58 years. She was his "boss" so to speak and he seems so lost with out her now. We've been staying at the house and it's just odd seeing all her stuff around but her not be here. No one is ready to get rid of all her stuff just yet.

The funeral home had WAY too much Pepto Bismol pink everywhere. The velvet curtains and seating in the actual service area were so horribly pink. The lighting on the casket was pink, I guess that was to make her look less white or something. I don't know but all that pink on top of the smell of all the flowers was almost over whelming. The flowers were beautiful and so many wonderful people sent flowers, beautiful arrangements but the smell was sickening sweet. We brought most of them home to Papa's with us and every time I walk into the dining room the smell hits me and I get nauseated.

Papa has handled it all very well, people kept saying that he didn't understand what was going on but he does. He was just more prepared for it than we all realized, I think. But I can tell he's sad and a little lost. We've spent the day with him here at the house. I didn't realize how much Granny did for him, just reminding him to eat and when to eat and all that. We didn't realize he hadn't eaten lunch till almost 3pm. I felt awful....

I am ready to go home though, I miss my house and my routine. I miss being able to work out in the morning too. I went and ran a little bit this morning, did some jumping jacks and some sprints in the yard. Not as much as I should have done but it got my heart rate up a little. I'm eager to get back to working out hard when I get home. I'm so ready for a new program, I'm really getting bored with the same work outs, my body needs something to mix it up too. I'm really really hoping I get Turbo Fire for my birthday! I want it SO badly! I can't believe that I've almost been at this whole working out thing for almost a year now! For the past year I have managed to work out for 5-6 days a week, every week. I've maintained keeping off 20lbs, I've gained back about 4 over the past few months just because I've totally let me eating habits get crazy out of control. Honestly, this week has almost done me in - WAY too much junk food. I eat when I'm stressed , depressed and bored. And this week end has been the perfect set up for all three......

I know this blog is rather scattered but I can't get my thoughts together. I just wanted everyone to know that I'm still alive and doing well. Keeping it together!