Pretty In Purple Blog Party

Favorite thing about summer? Laying out! I love getting my tan on and once it gets super hot swimming in our pool and breaking out the ice cold water melon. This year I'm also in love with cute summer dresses!

Twilight fan? Absolutely! You might even call me a "Twi-hard"! I won't be offended! The books are amazing, the movies were great as well and I'm dying to see the first part of Breaking Dawn in November! New Moon has to be the worst of the series but still isn't bad. I think overall Twilight had the most magic of all four. I think Stephenie is a great writer and her book The Host was fabulous as well!

Favorite quote? "If you limit your choices only to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise." - Robert Fritz

Best thing that has ever happened to you? The day I married my first love! Things have only gotten better with time - we've had our up's and down's but making it through them has only made our love and marriage more worthwhile. And a close tie would be the day my daughter was born!

Think of every place in the world possible... which of those places would you go to? London, England. The place is magical and some of the best musicians come from there!

Favorite food? Italian - I love anything meat and carbs! Lol!

What type of music do you like? Rock/Indie/Pop! My faves include Coldplay, The Killers, Elbow, Keane, MuteMath and The Bravery.

Flipflops, bare feet, heels, or flats? Flats. I used to love heels but after working as a hair stylist for awhile and then having a baby I learned to love flats!

Skirts or jeans? I detest skirts! Love cute summer dresses but skirts never look good on me so for this one I have to go with jeans.

Fresh or saltwater? Salt water for sure - as least you feel clean in it! Fresh water lakes and rivers are nasty and smelly. Give me the beach any day!

Skittles or M&Ms? M&M's, peanut M&M's. Not big on the plain ones.

Are you a morning person or more of a night person? Morning person! I'd much rather get up super early then go to bed super late.

So, your best friend is talking to a new girl in school... the new girl asks who you are... what do you think your best friend says? He's say, "That's my wife!" Lol!

Gotta tic? ya know, biting your nails, scrunching your nose, etc? I used to bite my nails but broke that habit because my dad told me guys don't like girls who bite their nails! Haha! So I only bite them when I'm watching an intense movie and I usually just bite one! Lol! But when I'm nervous I twirl my hair around my finger. My daughter does the same thing.

Pen or pencil? Pens for sure.

Paper or plastic? Plastic, yeah, I know. Shoot me. But I hate how paper slips in your arms and gives you paper cuts. Plastic is easier with it's nice little handles too!

M.I.A. - Part 1

I know that I have been missing almost a week here on my blog and I do apologize but it's been quite a week - good and bad. Tuesday night of last week we went to bed not thinking much of the wind blowing outside. Figured it was just another Spring thunder storm cropping up. Around midnight I woke up with a start hearing the wind absolutely howling outside, thunder booming right on the roof it seems, rain pounding down and lightening like I had never seen - a constant strobe light type lightening. I usually sleep through storms so the fact that this one woke me up made me realize it was bad. And suddenly I was scared, completely freaked out. The way the wind was blowing and everything was howling and cracking and groaning I felt like the house was going to collapse around us. And I knew the whole back of our house is lined by trees of every size, shape and height. We got Gianna up and brought her to our bed and she slept through all of that! Gandalf rarely gets in bed with us but he was totally freaked as well and climbed in bed and snuggled up with Gianna. The power went out and then flickered on and off for a bit, then out completely. After about 15 minutes of complete chaos it seemed to have passed over and we all settled down best we could in our bed and tried to get some sleep. The next thing I remember was Beej waking me up at 6am when he leaves for work and telling me to get outside one of our big trees had fallen.....I run outside to see a MASSIVE tree had fallen and completely smashed our shed - the shed that holds our lawn mowers, the freezer, the pool supplies, and most importantly the well pump because we have well water out here in the middle of nowhere! Water was spewing everywhere because when the tree fell it smashed the pipes.....I called my parents, waking them up at 5am their time, and finally figured out how to shut off the power to the pump and the hot water heater. After that Beej left for work and I spent the whole day trying to get ready and packed for the beach, trying to figure out what to do about the lack of water, the huge tree that needed to be moved, the crazy amounts of debris in the pool which we had just finally gotten in order. I hesitated going to the beach and leaving Bug and Beej with the mess and no water and not really sure when or if this was going to be fixed any time soon. But Beej said go.....so I managed to pack up, took Bug and I over to my mother in law's to wash some laundry and get showers. Left Bug with her and went home and slept before my sis picked me up at 5am to head to the beach. So that's why I've been gone! Craziness and then I was at the beach where we had no internet but we had loads of fun and tomorrow I'll get my pictures in order and get them posted. But for now here are a few from the damage here. Oh and did I mention we still don't have water? And we have no idea when it might be fixed. My dad is supposed to come up here in the next day or two and hopefully start the process of removing the tree and finding someone to fix the well pump. I am grateful, grateful that the tree didn't hit the house, grateful that we are ok....and I should leave it at that. But it is not fun or easy without water - we can't wash dishes without a lot of hauling water from our water stand (luckily my hubby works for a bottled water company and we have large 5 gallons jugs of water and a stand that keeps the water hot and cold), and we can't flush toilets without hauling water from the pool to fill the tanks and we can't take showers.....and the list goes on. *sigh*

Tomorrow I'll get up some photos from the beach trip and tell you all about the loads of fun I had with my sisters and my mom!!!

100 Things About Me (Last 25)

1. Whenever I see those initial monograms on people's cars I always mentally make up a name for it. (like if it's bSj then I think Brittany Jane Smith, etc.)

2. My favorite color is black, even though technically that's not a color.

3. I'm addicted to sugar free popsicles especially the orange flavored ones! I could eat a zillion of them especially when I'm laying out in the hot sun!

4. I'm totally nuts about my iPhone! People who hate on iPhones have never used one or owned one. Just sayin'.

5. I loved prom's and every prom season I think about how exciting it all is/was. I went to a prom with a good guy friend - it was his senior prom and his date bailed, he asked me to go and my parents let me! It was a big deal because I was homeschooled and pretty much had no hopes of a prom. It was a lovely evening! But by my Sr. year there was a home schooler's prom in Nashville, TN. I went, loved my dress, hated my hair and took my parents as my date! Lol!

6. I can't stand the cartoons Caillou and Little Bill. Ugh.

7. I loved the movie Water For Elephants! Finally saw it last night and it was stellar!

8. My favorite movie is Pride & Prejudice. It never gets old.

9. I am a huge Stephen King and Dean Koontz fan. I'm currently reading Desperation by SK.

10. I married the guy I first truly loved.....we had some time apart between our first time "dating" and getting back together.

11. I was married on the 5th of August, just two days after my parents anniversary. My sister was also married in August - maybe we can start a "tradition" and talk my other then siblings into August weddings as well (although they claim they will never be married!).

12. I wish I had a British accent! I absolutely adore they way they talk - it makes them all sound so charming and brilliant!

13. I hate when plans change last minute. Or when people cancel on you last minute.

14. My brother taught me how to make my own blog headers this past week - the kind with the transparent background. Oh, yeah, I'm over the moon happy about that!

15. This is the first year I can't say I'm super stoked about my birthday. I'll be 25 and that sorta freaks me out.

16. I hate being in the car without music being on, at least in the background. Without it car rides are so long and boring.

17. I usually fall asleep on my left side.

18. I love the purses at Target! Pretty much all of them unless they look old lady-ish!

19. I also love that I can wear a kids 4 at Target - which means most of the time I get super cute shoes for half the price I'd normally pay!

20. I love Subway, I'll eat at Quizno's but it doesn't hold a candle to Subway's subs!

21. My favorite "not so good for you" cereal is Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

22. I'm horrible with directions. Thank God for Google.Maps and GPS

23. I love having my teeth cleaned!

24. My absolute favorite blog is Enjoying The Small Things by Kelle. She's magical.

25. I'm actually sad I've already told you 100 things about me even though coming up with them hasn't been exactly easy!

Lessons Learned

“The fact that an opinion has been widely held is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; indeed, in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, a wide-spread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible” - Bertrand Russell

“Make sure you have a different opinion and people will talk about you” - Arab Proverb

I have long ago established the fact in my own mind that having a different opinion then someone else almost guarantees that you won't have a place on their "friend" list. But I've also learned that people who can't handle the fact that other people see things differently then they do probably aren't people you want to be on their "friend" list! Facebook is the biggest place for people to throw their opinions back and forth. And I admit, I do get caught up in it sometimes. For the most part though I keep my mouth shut on SO much. There are things that I know are just not worth fighting over. There are also times I don't say anything because I know it might cause problems and I care enough about that person and their opinion that I don't challenge it just for the sake of peace. But occasionally there is an opinion expressed that I don't just personally disagree with but that I disagree with on a spiritual level. And then I feel it is my right to speak up especially if I have scripture to back up what I'm saying. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a "holier then thou" kinda person - I know I still have lots to learn when it comes to my Savior and all that is expected of me as a Christian. I daily fall short but I still know what is right and what the Word says. And for that I will not apologize or back down. I won't go into detail but there was recently a post on FB by a "friend" that I disagreed with and I felt she was Biblically wrong on. I expressed that and shared a few scriptures with her - she is a very "spiritual" person I figured she would be open to something like that. But I guess no matter how spiritual you act or talk there comes a time when your flesh takes over and you just get pissed because someone doesn't see it your way. More then anything was a little surprised and taken back at how this person's mother reacted to me! I have always thought age equaled maturity and wisdom but it's most certainly not so in this day and age. It saddened me because within a day or two of this "exchange" she removed me from her "list". We weren't great friends or anything so I wasn't disappointed or upset just sorta surprised because she has never seemed like a person to get so caught up on trivial exchange of opinions. But hey, so be it. I can't back down when it comes to people misrepresenting the Gospel especially when they are constantly flaunting their spirituality and constantly talking about all the spiritual things they do, live, breath, work, read, etc. But I have ceased to be surprised at people! My husband and I were talking today about how special people are who we truly have been constants in our lives, even when things seem crazy and chaotic these people are still rocks for us. My parents taught me that people are come and go - we can't get bent out of shape and torn apart when people show their true colors and we have to separate ourselves from them in order to better ourselves. Lately it seems I have seen a lot of people come and go in my life but for the season they have been in my life I have learned things - some have been positive things, some have been things I have taken as life lessons, some are things I've learned about myself and either been proud of or worked to change. I am learning to see these comings and goings as seasons and to enjoy the changes as I go! I am learning to be appreciative of lessons learned!

Happy Mother's Day!

The reason I get to celebrate Mother's Day.....

Gianna Elyn Carroll

6lbs. 150z.

Perfection.

Happy Mother's Day!

Words & Pictures

I guess have taken way too many photos of my daughter because she's tired of it now! I really have to work and coax her to smile when I say "cheese" and point my phone or camera at her. The other day before my mom left to head back to Bama we grabbed lunch with my sis at our favorite eating joint called Doc Chey's Noodle House! So very yummy - their Vietnamese Spring rolls with Sweet Chili sauce are to die for! Gianna just eats them up!
After that we walked across the street in downtown Asheville to the Marble Slab Creamery and got a sweet treat. Gianna is obsessed with all things strawberry especially strawberry ice cream! You get a "mix-in" at Marble Slab and she wanted cherries but they were out so she opted for blueberries mixed into her strawberry ice cream! So cute. I had a simple small scoop of vanilla with butterfinger mixed in!
Our Mr. Kitty - Gandalf. People love to comment on how "evil" he looks. Those orange eyes get them! But I know he's super sweet and so I see his face as more grumpy then anything!
We have this new rule when we go grocery shopping - well, I guess it's not a rule, it's more a compromise! Gianna does not like to sit in the back of the buggy, if I put her there she stands the whole time and I hate it. So I've started negotiating with her - that if she'll sit in the front of the buggy, in the seat, and she'll be good she can pick out a small "goodie" at the front. Usually it's a $1 (or less) snack but it makes the shopping trip SO much easier for me with her contained in the front. This last time she chose cotton candy - she's always bummed it's not on the little paper cone. One day I've got to take her somewhere where they serve the cotton candy on little paper cones!

One thing my new iPhone doesn't have that my iPod Touch did was the reversible camera. The Touch had a camera on both sides so a simple touch of a button changed it from a front facing camera to facing me without me having to turn the Touch around. My iPhone doesn't have that feature so I'm learning the art of taking "blind" photos of myself. I lucked out with this one!

Our pool is pretty much in completely order but it's been kinda chilly the past few days - I got a few more last minute details to do with the chemicals and getting the last bit of leaves and sludge out of the bottom but other then that the water is pretty much perfectly clear! I can't wait for it to get hot enough to actually swim. Bug and I donned bathing suits and went and laid out in the sun for about an hour yesterday - I read a book and she blew bubbles and soaked her legs with sticky "bubble juice"! But she loved it! Hoping today we may get a good hour or so of sun to soak up before we head out for the evening......
Is she not the flippin' cutest?! I love how she bends that one leg! She is in love with playing "gardening" - which means she gets a cup of water, makes mud in our flower beds and digs around until a bug freaks her out and sends her scuttling back inside for protection!

I swear, my feet are much cuter in person! Lol! Pictures of them make them look even shorter and stubbier then they really are (I think!). But I love my white toenails right now. I think it makes my feet look tanner! I did the whole French manicure for awhile but that's really a pain in the neck to do yourself especially when your toenails are so tiny like mine. So I just went for all out white this time around!

I got my iPhone case in the mail yesterday and it came with this piece of bubble wrap. Gianna snagged it and played with it all afternoon. We decided to go to Outback for dinner last night (yum!) and I told her to get her back pack and put a few toys in it. So she did and we left.....when we got there she said she wanted to play with some of her toys so she digs in her bag and pulls out the piece of bubble wrap! I totally cracked up! And out of all her toys she brought this was the only thing she played with while we were there.....I know we probably had some people thinking "what the crap?!" but hey, she was happy and that meant we were happy!

Quiet.

Most mornings I get up before Gianna does. I sneak to the bathroom and brush my teeth as quietly as possible, then I sneak out into the living, quietly turn on the TV and then grab my laptop to check my email and blogs before I get my day going. But usually just about the time I settle down onto the couch I hear Gianna standing at her gate yelling, "Mom, good morning!" I love that she usually greets me that way (although this morning her greeting was, "Daddy?!") but occasionally I wish she'd sleep just a little longer so that I could have a few moments of peaceful quiet while the sun comes up.....

I am purposing in my heart this morning to look at things in a brighter light. I feel like lately things have felt overwhelming and discouraging. I have let too many things get to me, mainly myself. I feel like I get down on myself and that translates to how I deal with those around me. Yesterday I was feeling crappy about me and so when my hubby got home all he did was ask me a simple question and I jumped all over him. I feel like everyone is watching a critiquing me. Watching to see if I do enough - I feel like being a stay at home mom everyone thinks you are lazy and that unless you spend from sun up to sun down cleaning then you aren't doing anything. I'll admit, I probably have a little more "free" time then those who work a regular job but at the same time we have a much tighter budget too. And knowing you are responsible for the development of a child is quite the load on your mind and heart. Every time I do or say something I'm wondering if I've done it right or already messed her up! I never want the day to come where she doesn't want to talk to me or doesn't enjoy being with me. I feel like my husband has all the weight of financially taking care of us on his shoulders and I know this weighs him down alot, especially when his visions and dreams for himself and for us didn't include a long commute and hours of hard work. He is creative and this job is no creative outlet for him but at the same time we are thankful he has this job, it's been fairly secure and it pays fairly well too. It's hard to find the balance between being grateful and being stuck in a rut.

I too often, especially lately, feel like mine and my husband's visions for life aren't quite in sync with each other's. I keep trying to figure out a way to mesh them together. I love my husband and I want nothing more then to see him happy - I also want nothing more then to see my daughter happy. But too often I forget about myself in some ways, I feel like I'm the one who is supposed to put my desires and wants and needs on the back burner to other's desires and wants and needs. I feel like it's more important for "them" to be happy and satisfied and for me to just get along with where ever life takes me. I talk myself in to thinking that my vision for life (or the parts of a vision I seem to have collected.) isn't as important. Yet something keeps pulling me back to it and keeps putting a longing in my heart. I'm so afraid to say that it's something God has put there because heaven forbid, what if I was wrong?!

I think it's one of my biggest fears - being wrong. Making a mistake, doing the wrong thing, messing up something for someone else, making a big decision that screws things up. I am not brave, I'm not a "go-for-it" kinda person. And I so wish I was! I wish I just had the gall to jump into things, to just "know" my heart and know it's right and to just go with the flow. I think the only thing I've ever not "over thought" in life was marrying my husband! We got "back" together in November 2004, got engaged in April 2005 and even though most of my family wasn't overly supportive of me getting married at 18 (almost 19) I went against everything I was told and knew to be "right" and married him. And that was almost 6 years ago! I'm proud of how far we've come together and I hope things only get better......but my point is, I'm not one to just go for things, I over analyze until there is nothing left for me to go for.

Today I want my mind to be quiet, I want to just simply enjoy the day. The beauty and warmth of the sun peeking over the tree line across the road, the chilly crispness to the air this morning (it feel like fall even though it's May!), the gentle bubble of the pool, the delightful laugh of my child as she enjoys just being who she is.......I want to look in the mirror and smile at myself and not see my flaws and imperfections, I want to feel proud of what I do accomplish today even if it's not everything and I want to go to bed tonight feeling fulfilled!