Those who matter!

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” - Dr.Seuss

A good friend of mine passed that quote on to me today and I just loved it! Thought I would share it! And I do greatly appreciate all the wonderful words of encouragement my friends have given me today. I'm still trying to wrap my head around all that has gone down in the past two days. I still can't believe how two people who could claim to be and seem to be such great friends could turn on Beej so quickly. I keep waiting for someone to say it's a joke. But I don't think that's going to happen. We aren't sure what we're going to do now. Beej doesn't want to go back to his old job, which at the moment isn't available anyway. We're looking at possibly each getting a part time job to try and make ends meet for now. I really want Beej to be able to do music. He has a couple of guys he's going to do a few side projects with while working on his own solo stuff. I'm eager to hear a complete finished project from him!

A Piece of my mind.....

I woke up this morning to the news that Beej is no longer apart of the band he was in. Well, I can't actually say they were a band really - he's no longer apart of the "outfit of traveling musicians"! I'm very angry right now about. Mainly because of how it was done and the way it was handled. They had a gig scheduled for this weekend and instead of being mature and working things out so that they could play together - some, and let me repeat, some of the guys decided they'd just rather have a stranger come play with them. Lame? Yeah, I know! But out of it all I know that Beej has made one good and dear friend and I do hope and pray that his friendship continues on......along with some musicial opportunities too! It still never ceases to amaze me at how ignorant, immature and low people can be. Not to mention how two faced too. They'll say one thing to your face and something completely different to another. How can people live with openly lying day after day? And still call themselves Christians - go to church, serve on the worship team and go to bed with a clear conscience? It's beyond me. That's why more and more I'm finding myself with drawing from "Christians". Am I saved? Yes. Do I believe in Jesus? Absolutely. But I believe Christians are the FARTHEST thing from Jesus there is. I still attend church because I feel it's important for Gianna but do I like it? No. And I don't want to be apart of anything there. The less I'm involved the less people can get close to me and then turn around and stab me in the back. It's happened so many times I think my back bone is hacked in half! I've realized that when people feel threatened by you or feel like you are making them look bad they'll do whatever is within their power to take you down and as quickly as possible too. And people in leadership have no back bone to stand up for what's right either. They go with the majority and with what's easiest. Give me a break.
Well, thanks for letting me vent! Although I don't think I'll truly feel better until I tell people to their face what I think of them! Lol! But does it do any good? Nope. They still go on in their blind stupidity cutting down anyone they think it "messing up" their cushy positions in life. I've always been taught it's better to have a few quality people in your life then a bunch of stupid ones! And that's what I'm doing in life! Quality over quantity. I think it's a my new motto in everything!!!! Hopefully your day is better then mine has started off. I'm going to work out and burn off some of my frustration and hurt! See ya here later.....oh yeah, I started a blog last night and it go lost! Just wanted to say that this blog will continue. I have the right to say what I want and if people choose to use it against me, well, that's their issue not mine! So you find me here anytime!!!!

This Blog is Over.....

When I started this blog I intended for it to be a place that I could share thoughts, feelings, and ideas freely. A place where I didn't feel like everything would be taken wrong....I told everyone who chose to follow my blog that this was a place I intended to vent or share concerns. And that I would appreciate everyone's respect on that. Not to take anything personally or view it in a negative light. What I shared here wasn't intended to be passed around or shared with other people. If you were following this blog I trusted that what I said was between me and you and those others who followed also. But after some "issues" I will be discontinuing this blog.....I will however be starting a new blog, a private blog that can only be viewed or followed by invitation only. If you would like to continue following my blog please send me your email address to beautyandthebeej@yahoo.com. Thank you and I hope to see you again in a new location!!!

Tattoo design decisions

Some of you may or may not know that I have tattoos, so far it's at two. A solid black star on my right foot and then a celtic heart on my left wrist. I'm now addicted! Lol! I love tattoos, well done tattoos. I think color is pretty but I personally prefer black for myself. I currently have two more tattoos ideas for myself and I plan to get one of them done here soon, around my birthday. I'm pretty sure I'm going to add something to the star on my foot but I haven't been able to find exactly what I want. I have a friend of Beej's looking over some ideas and hopefully he'll be able to draw up something that will work for me. But my other idea is wings on my shoulders, I plan to wait on that I think until my arms and shoulders are in better shape (hence P90X!) so that may wait til later on this year or maybe next year. I'm trying to talk Beej into getting some but so far he hasn't been really interested. He says he's never seen anything he wants on his body for the rest of his life!!! I want him to get Gianna's name in Elvish but he says that's too nerdy for him! Haha! I'm posting pictures of a couple of wing ideas I have...not sure which one I like best! I love them all! Decisions, decisions, decisions!!! I love the idea of angel wings but I'm leaning towards the tribal wings at the top....it just seems to fit me better I think!

Life's A Bumpy Road......

So I know that lately my posts have been about P90X.....It may seem boring to you but I'm still so pumped and excited about it! I've felt so good the past week or so inspite of all the soreness! I feel like I'm accomplishing something and it only takes like an hour or so. I'm very inspired by the guy who does the workouts...not so much how he looks, although that's great too! Lol! But more by his passion and love for being fit. I haven't met alot of people like that. I'm eager to see some results although I'm not expecting them to be over night either....
So the A/C has been out at our house for the past couple of days. We've been spending the days and nights over at my parents house. Which has been fine with me because I'm spent the past two days swimming. I love swimming and it's great to be in the water when it's 100 degrees outside, not to mention it's great exercise for me and for Gianna. It wears her out, short naps plus swimming equals Gigi sleeping in until past 8am this morning! Yeah, I actually had to go wake her up! That's a nice change!
We've been having some potty training set backs the past couple of days too. Maybe it's because we aren't in our home, in her comfortable setting but she has had so many accidents I quit counting. I'm so frustrated but going back to diapers isn't even an option for me. It's been so nice not having to buy any at all! This morning I got her up and she had peed in her undies and I mentioned it and she said "I want diapers!" I was like Yeah, right! We have worked to dang hard on this to just give in and go back to diapers. Not to mention I'm not changing any more diapers - my changing diaper days are OVER, forever! That thought cheers me greatly even when I'm washing out wet panties!
Gianna seems so grown up to me lately. It's really hitting me how much she has changed in the past year or so. How much she's changed even since March. She's talking in full sentences now. She's a copy cat and copies everything especially everything Beej does. She loves him so much and wants to do everything like him. I really want to get her into dance lessons or gymnastics or something but it's just not in the budget right now. I've thought about getting a part time job but paying for babysitting just wouldn't make it worth it. We are kinda at an unsure time in life. The band Beej is with doesn't look like they are going to be continuing on much longer. I think everyone has a different idea of what a "band" is supposed to be and so Beej and one guy see it eye to eye and then the others all see if differently.....so needless to say that doesn't make for a good band. Plus Beej has so much amazing music in him and he needs to be somewhere that encourages him to write and this is not where it is. I'm still praying that God will send Beej some truly amazing band mates. Guys who want to do quality music and who truly have a heart for music and fans. I'm not sure where we are going to find them though.....maybe we need to move to Nashville. Lol! Not sure how we're going to get there but it's a nice thought!
I'm so glad to have a couple of good girl friends right now too. Over the years I've learned that having a couple of good friends in your life is important. And making sure you reach out and show yourself a good friend is important too - so many people don't even understand what it means to be a true friend. Someone who doesn't stab you in the back, talk about you, or throw you under the bus to get where they wanna go.....It's so nice to have someone to go out with, enjoy some chit chatting, some serious laughing and feel like your cares are forgotten for awhile! Not to mention both of my close friends are young married moms, just like me. It's so nice to have people who understand where you are at and the things you are struggling with or triumphing in! Thank God for my dear friends, I'll call them "The C's"!!!! And they know who they are!!! Thanks, girls!!!! Love you dearly!

P90X Week One down....

So Beej and I are done with Week 1 of P90X! I'm so proud we made it through the first week. I even worked out the day I was sick....didn't want to miss so soon. I've been so sore for the past week. If it's not one body part it was another and most of the time it was just all of them! Lol! But I feel good overall and I'm ready to continue on! Even though the workouts are long they move pretty quick and they are over before you know it and you are standing there sweating like a dog! I've got to get the diet part down a little better though. I haven't done bad this week but I could have done much better. If I can get them both in order I think I'll see some serious great results at the end of 90 days!
We are staying out at my parents house tonight because our A/C is out at the house. It happens one to two times every summer. The unit is old and needs to be completely replaced but our land lord is a cheap skate and just keeps having it 'patched' up. But it's miserable hot at our house so we're over here today enjoying the pool and the A/C! My mom is gone for the week anyway on vacation with my grandmother so Dad always enjoys the company! I think we are going to head out to Sonic in a bit for a treat.....

Kick Butt!

Beej and I officially started P90X yesterday! We aren't able to do it together due to how small our apartment is and the fact that we only have one pull up bar....but we both managed to fit it in yesterday. I did it while Gigi napped and Beej completed it late last night. It was tough, I was only able to do a fraction of what they were doing BUT I did my best and pushed myself farther then normal. So needless to say my arms felt like noodles yesterday after lots of pull ups and push ups! But this morning I woke up and couldn't hardly turn over in bed! Lol! And my arms and chest are SO sore! But I'm very excited about the work out today. It's great that you don't have to do the same workout two days in a row. That gets old fast. At least you know there are a few days in between the same work outs. So you can kinda sike yourself up for the next time around! My main thing is going to be sticking to the diet plan as well. Unless you do you won't see the same kind of results as you expect. I really want to complete this, not only because it's good for me and I'll lose the weight I want to but also because I want to prove to myself that I can stick with something big and finish it! I'm pretty excited to see myself at 30 days, 60 days and then 90 days! Ready to BRING IT!!!!