B.R.A.T

I'll admit it. Sometimes I can totally be a brat. I was pretty much a really big one to my hubby

today. He totally didn't deserve it and someone oughta kick me in the teeth for it.

It had to do with one of those little issues that has honestly been resolved and doesn't bother me most of the time. But today is came up and I don't know, I guess it caught me by surprise on a rather insecure day and I sorta lost my head. I said some really mean things and totally regret it now.

The whole situation is frustrating because I feel like he doesn't see my side and I think I misunderstand his. But instead of trying to talk it out like an adult and come to a compromise I just flipped my lid.

You guys totally don't have days like that right?!

It's funny because I often feel like as soon I start feeling pretty confident in life and how it's going something comes along and knocks me off my high horse and gives me a little shot of negative again.

This past week has been great - we're super excited about getting things in order to move next year, Gianna is loving school and dance, I feel like my little creative project (Pretty Nods) is off to a decent little start and I'm getting ready to open up my Etsy shop again, I actually lost a pound this week (lol!)......so yeah, I was feeling pretty good and then this.

No excuse I know but it caught me off guard and I didn't handle it well.

I put my poor hubby through the wringer sometimes with my emotional self.

Sometimes I wish I could be more logical and less emotional like guys. Or at least like my hubby but I seem to be a huge ball of emotions on a see-saw.

And why is it some days something sincerely doesn't bother you but then the next it's suddenly the most overwhelming, depressing thing you've ever had to figure out?!

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

Everyone has a past, we all have things we regret. Sometimes though, no matter how much you try to move on and forget, some people can't let it go and it makes it hard for others to.

I do hope one day the past simply doesn't matter to me anymore. That I can really separate the past from the present & the future.

I wish that I could be more understanding, more compassionate and realize that just because I "see" it one way doesn't mean that's how it is.

Too often my insecurities dictate my actions.

The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present

Rocket City, here we come!

We're moving, peeps! Ok, not for a little while but we're moving and we're stoked! We're going to wait until the end of the school year since Gianna just started and loves her school so much. We want to wait until she's finished up this year so we'll be moving sometime in June. But we have SO much to do before we move. Just getting things in order, saving money, lining up jobs there, finding a place to live, etc.

Oh, wait, I didn't tell you where we're moving. Lol! Huntsville, AL. Actually I should say we are moving back. I was raised there until I was 12 and we moved to NC. Then I moved back in 2004 after I graduated high school to go to Cosmetology school and live with my grandparents. Beej moved down there July 2005 and we were married there and lived there for a year before moving back to NC to be near family.

My family (minus my sister right under me and her hubby) already lives there. They moved back a year or so ago to take care of my grandfather after my Granny passed away. I'm trying to talk my sis into moving down there too! I hate to leave her up here all alone, not to mention we've gotten kinda close over the past few months and I'd miss her.

Most people would think we are moving back just to be with my family and although that is going to be a huge plus and bonus for us (especially Gianna!) that's not the reason we are moving back. We've been considering a move for almost two years but just didn't feel certain as to wear we were supposed to go. We considered Nashville, TN since my hubby wants to do music, we thought about Greenville, SC because we love the downtown area, and we even considered Asheville, NC since that's near my hubby's current work place. But no where felt right. We love Huntsville and it has so much to offer. It's growing my leaps and bounds and it's only 2 hours from Nashville, TN and Birmingham, AL. Not to mention it's a much more cultured place then where we are living now and we really want Gianna to be brought up somewhere we can be proud of.

Don't get me wrong, Rutherford county will always be "home" to us as well but there is nothing here for us. The county is very poor and depressed and has nothing to offer. We want to move somewhere we feel we are thriving and growing.

There is A LOT we have to set in order but we both feel this is God's direction and next step for our lives and with some careful planning we know we'll get there. I'm excited about what's to come and I feel like we have a goal and purpose to work towards and people always thrive when when there is a vision!

So even though it's 8 months away we are already planning and setting our sights on what's to come!

Not much to say

Random - this is one of my favorite pictures of me and my handsome hubby! I found it today looking through some pictures my sis had on her Facebook.

On another note I made these today for my mom - they're the best ones I've made so far. I like the added touch of the braid in there. Kinda spices it up a bit!

And I found this picture today and just loved it! I hope Gianna's next room will look all pretty and feminine like this. Her room is all purple and pink now but it's dark and bright not light and airy like this......

The other thing is we are getting rid of our cat Gemima. Part of me is sad because she is a sweet cat but I just can't deal with her - she is so much work with all her hair and the Himalayan breed is know for having goopy eyes that have to be cleaned several times a day not to mention just general vet care is outrageous. So I've found a really great foster home that will take her in until a home can be found for her. We of course would never get rid of Gandalf, he's almost 13 years old and we've had him for 6 years so he'll be around till he moves on. But we are trying to simplify our lives, we have some changes coming up next year and it's just best for us to let her go..... so we'll be saying good bye to her in a few days most likely. And I VOW that after this we will have NO more long hair cats - no Persians, no Himalayans and no Siamese. I'm sticking to short haired domestic cats or hairless cats! I'm pretty sure that whenever Gandalf passes on I want to rescue a hairless cat. But that's on down the road sometime.....

Other then that not a whole lot is going on. Our daily routine of getting Gi to school, I'm working on projects for Pretty Nods and my etsy shop and keeping the house in some sort of order. Gearing up for the Holidays, Halloween in particular! Gi is so ready to have her costume already!

I'm headed to bed, I'm tired. The kiddo had a little accident in her pants before bed involving #2 and then after I got her cleaned up and in bed I kept smelling cat crap but I couldn't figure out where it was coming from until I realized Gemima had it on her butt and was smearing it all over my craft room. Seriously? Yup. So I had to stop what I was doing and bathe her and dry her and then clean up all the crap every where. Ugh. I just need sleep.

Christmas Is Comin'!

I love Fall, I really do. It's my favorite season - I love Halloween and Thanksgiving so much but for some reason this year I am just over the moon excited about Christmas.

Seeing family, trip to TN to spend a weekend at a cabin, gifts, decorations, loads of yummy goodies, etc.!

So here's a few pictures to get you all pumped up with me!

Beautiful Christmas tree decor

This super cute and simple candle display

Pretty window decorations

Festive gifts

Gorgeous star lanterns

Love this light display - beautiful!

Yummy Christmas dinner (ham!)

Can't wait to make this treat - chocolate covered pretzels sprinkled with crushed peppermints!

My sis wants to try these out - little chocolate covered cherry snow men!

I can't wait for it to be chilly - sweaters, scarves and boots.

There is just something tangible in the air around Christmas time.

That hustle and bustle, people are little friendlier and happier......

It's most certainly the most wonderful time of the year!

New Stuff

Just a few new projects I'm working on for PRETTY NODS. I'll have my Etsy shop up next Saturday, so a week from today! I'll make sure I post a link but for now if you wanna snag some of these goodies before then just let me know in the comments or email me at prettynods@yahoo.com

Black "military" hat with black and white rosette, pom-pom flower and antique button.

$12 (+$4 for shipping.) This hat is SOLD but I will be making more soon!

(Close up)

T-shirt necklace - olive green and chocolate brown with a large olive green antique button.

$8 (+$4 if shipped).

(Second view)

Black and white t-shirt necklace with large black and white rosettes and antique buttons.

$10 (+$4 if shipped).

(Upclose)

colorful 5 rosette headband on a chocolate brown band. Fits toddler to adult.

$12 (+$4 if shipped).

(Second view)

Cream and grey-blue 3 rosette band with antique buttons on a cream band. Fit toddler to adult.

$8 (+$4 if shipped.)

(Second view)

The journey....

Today I got on my hubby's computer to find some photos of Gianna. He has all the photos from way back when she was born! Lol! All four years back. But then I ran across some pictures of me from "way back when" and sometimes it's a good reminder of why I work out 6 days a week and "try" to eat right most of the time. It's good motivation! Because I look at the girl in these pictures and I remember how miserable I felt. I still remember seeing that first picture after we had been to the zoo and I think I went into a depression for at least a week.

(October 2008)

(November 2008)

(December 2008)

Beej and I were talking today about how unhappy I was back then and that pretty much bled over into EVERYTHING. I felt so unlike myself.

Growing up my mother was extremely overweight but it never even dawned on me that one day I might struggle with my weight because I was skinny! I was outside running around and riding my bike all the time. I never watched what I ate even as a teenager. I still remember going to Old Navy when I was 15 and buying a size 1 and I wore those jeans until I graduated at 17 (and had worn holes in the knees and tore off a belt loop!).

Once I graduated and moved to AL to go to school I literally ate fast food pretty much three times a day 6 days a week. And in between I'd eat honey buns out of the vending machine at school! I'm surprised I wasn't the size of a blimp by the time Beej and I got back together but I had packed on about 15lbs.

Once I got married I would occasionally go to our apartment's gym and walk or "run" on the treadmill but I was never very committed even though I was unhappy with myself.

And I really just kept gaining until I was around 139 when I got pregnant with Gianna.

Then I was crazy sick for three months straight and lost 20lbs. No joke. At the beginning of my second trimester I was fitting into clothes I hadn't been able to wear before I got pregnant and I was thrilled! I only gained about 25lbs when I was pregnant and the day I walked out of the hospital I was at 129 and pretty happy. My stomach was a bit "jiggly" but I figured that would fix itself in time.

Then I got on birth control pills and that on top of trying to be a new mom, going through two major surgeries in four weeks time (c-section and gallbladder surgery). I was miserable, felt awful and my coping was to eat. Thus I shot up to about 155lbs. And that on my small 5 foot tall frame is ALOT.

I can't honestly say what clicked or why it clicked but suddenly I was sick of feeling bad, sick of feeling sorry for myself, sick of hating other pretty girls for being pretty and fit, sick of my hubby being way hot and me being his fat wife, sick of ending every shopping trip crying in the dressing room.

So that's when I started working out hard (P90X then Insanity) and I lost the weight and I felt on top of the world! I suddenly felt in control of myself, I felt good. I have managed to keep pretty much all the weight (give or take 5lbs.) off for just over two years now. I'm proud of that.

I hope more then anything that I can teach my daughter to be health conscious all of her life and not just when it finally gets bad enough that it can't be ignored. I wish I had worked out harder during high school and then college. I really wish that once I was over my morning sickness that I had worked harder on working out and eating healthy when I was pregnant so that it wouldn't have been so hard to get on track afterwards.

I do my best not to be obsessive with it. But at the same time it's part of my day to day life now. I am probably always going to have to work out hard and I'm always going to have to watch what I eat. I try not to think of it as a "diet" - I try to just think of it as how I eat. Don't get me wrong, I eat crap still. I usually regret it afterwards but I still enjoy myself! But I know that making an effort to be fit and healthy has not only made me happier but it's made my husband a happier man too! Lol! I want nothing more then to inspire other young moms (and people in general) to take some time and effort to work on yourself. You may not like to work out but I guarantee if you keep at it and you see the results your mind will change. You may not love fruits and veggies but when you are fitting into smaller pants and actually smiling when you look at yourself in the mirror they'll suddenly much better. And don't get down on yourself for having a bad day (or two!), just get back at it tomorrow! You can change yourself but it's all up to you!

New project

So I've started a new project for Pretty Nods and I'm so excited to share it!

T-shirt rope necklaces! This is just my first one but I'm excited and they'll just keep getting

better and better....this one I just simply added a big antique button to this one but I plan

to add some rosettes and/or pom-poms to some too.

Hoping to have my Etsy shop back up and running by the first of next month!

So keep an eye out for my big "Grand Re-opening" post!

For now I've got necklaces to make!

How awesome for your upcoming Fall wardrobe, huh?!

Keith

Ok, so occasionally I watch a "chick flick" that just totally melts my heart. I love a good romance story. Generally when I watch anything on Netflix I go straight to the Romance category. Every once in awhile I watch one that just absolutely sucks me in because it's just SO romantic! Ones that come to mind off the top of my head are of course the Twilight series. Incredibly romantic and I'm a little obsessed (it's waned a little but I still love it!) and then awhile back it was that movie Beastly. Although I'll admit the acting was a little rough in that movie but I still thought it was an incredible sweet love story and the main dude was super good looking.

Yesterday I got a little bored at one point and since I was feeling a little lazy yesterday I decided to watch a movie. Nothing really sounded good, I started one of those old romance movies that is set back in Victorian days but it was icky and I made it through half of it and cut it off. Then I saw the movie Keith. My little sister, D, told me about it a long time ago and gushed about how sweet it was and I had to watch it but I kinda forgot about it and never took the time to watch it. Especially cause it's an indie film and sometimes those are full of bad backdrops and bad acting and cheesy script. But I'd figure I'd give it a go.......

And now, I'm totally obsessed!!! I watched it twice yesterday. Yup, twice.

Here's the official movie summary:

Natalie has it all: yearbook editor, scholarship to college, star athlete, reigning social queen. Then Keith enters her life. Secretive and enigmatic, he slowly lures her from her comfort zone. The more Keith holds back, the more Natalie becomes intrigued with figuring him out. In her head, she's determined to keep him at arm's length, but in her heart she can't resist him. As Natalie's world slowly unravels, both their lives are changed forever in this powerful love story.

Let me just say first of all the acting was superb! I was expecting Jesse McCartney to be as cheesy an actor as he is a singer but I think he missed his calling because he was an amazing actor is this morning. The the "leading lady" Elisabeth Harnois was just as good.

The script was so believable and didn't feel forced or rehearsed in any way.

And the story itself is just so sweet. I may have even got a little choked up at one point.

It's seriously one of the best indie films I've ever seen!

A must watch if you love romance movies.

And for your viewing pleasure here's the trailer - the quality is a little crappy but you get the idea!

Dance, baby!

"The next time you look into the mirror, just look at the way the ears rest next to the head; look at the way the hairline grows; think of all the little bones in your wrist. It is a miracle. And the dance is a celebration of that miracle." - Martha Graham

"Dance is the hidden language of the soul."

I've always wanted to dance. As a child I twirled and danced on my tip toes dreaming about being a ballerina. I would watch old Shirley Temple movies and watch her tap dance across piano tops and I was in love. As a teen it was all about choreographed boy band dancing but dancing none the less. Even to this day I watch shows like So You Think You Can Dance and I'm just mesmerized.

I do not want to push my interests or desires on my daughter. I want her to find her own interests and passions. I have never pushed her to like dance but I think it's almost natural for most little girls to love it - the grace, the flow, the beauty, the costumes, the music, the excitement. I have told Gianna over and over that if she doesn't want to do dance anymore all she has to do is tell me. But for now I am so happy that she loves it!

I've already said it but I love her new studio! The teacher is on top of everything and so professional. She is great with keeping class entertaining but actually teaching the kids something at the same time. Gianna is already working on the barre and my heart absolutely swells with pride seeing her sweet little plies and pointing her toes!

Yesterday we had a parent meeting after class and discussed the upcoming events - for starters Gianna's class, the Twinkling Stars, are going to be in two Christmas parades! I find it amusing that they are wearing black and hot pink for the Christmas parades but I'm still so thrilled. I'm on the hunt for the perfect hot pink tutu right now even though she won't need it till the end of November.

Her first recital won't be until the end of the dance "year" which is Sept.- May then they take the summer off like school but with optional dance clinics that she can participate in. They haven't picked a recital costume yet but I've already been looking at some and these little costumes are to die for! Gianna is going to be in heaven! My aunt's little girl who is a month older then Gianna took dance for a while but has moved on to gymnastics so she's sending Gianna some of her dance wear and I'm so excited to get it. It'll be like Christmas for me and Gi!

One thing I've noticed though is that I'm one of very few young moms there. Most of the moms are like my mom's age and have two or three kids in dance. They huddle in a odd group in the corner with way too much make up on and cramped looks on their faces while the rest of us pretend to read books while we eye them in a curious way.....I'm happy that Gianna's teacher is a young and actually looks like she still dances.

But as you can tell, I'm so happy to have a sweet little girl who is all about tutus and ballet!